Across the Brandywine

So proud of BKB

2012-01-19T19:22:00.000-06:00

This is my handsome stud of a man. He is two weeks into what is/will be the hardest semester of his law school career, taking six classes including Moot Court (if you don't know what this is, just be impressed). He is handling it like a total champ.

He gets up at 5-6am each day to do an insanely hard workout (P90X). Then he spends time reading his Bible, packing a lunch, and getting ready for the day. He loads up his bag with 35lbs worth of law books and heads off to class. Some days he is on campus from 9am-8pm, other days he drives up to Alton, IL to go to work when classes are done. Most nights he gets home around 6-7, eats dinner, talks to me, and plays with Watson. Usually around 8pm, he heads back to the office and hits the books until around midnight. He gets up the next morning and does it all over again. He spends his weekends getting ahead on more classwork, loving on his wife and puppy, and worshiping Jesus in our gospel community and with our church.

I am insanely proud of him, unspeakably grateful for him, and unbelievably in love with him. I just want the world to know the kind of hard-working, Jesus-loving man he is. It is so sweet to be loved by such a man.

T.H.I.N.K.

2012-01-17T18:41:00.001-06:00

Today was my first day of my internship at a primary school. I had a great first day, and was intrigued by something on the wall of the speech therapy room. It read,

THINK before you speak....

T: Is it true?

H: Is it helpful?

I: Is it inspiring?

N: Is it necessary?

K: Is it kind?

I absolutely loved this poster and could learn a great deal from it. Gossip is a particular struggle I have at times, and working in an environment where most of my peers are beautiful, brilliant (and often child-bearing) women means that there's also jealousy, which means that snarky things fly out of my mouth, followed by pangs of guilt.

This weekend, one of our pastor's preached a message on godly womanhood. I was so challenged, and today's little poster drove it home. I am so sorry for some of the things I've said and thoughts I've had that were either untrue, unhelpful, uninspiring, unnecessary, or unkind. I am sorry to those who've heard me say such things, because that was the opposite of showing the love of Christ, and does not make him look glorious, but he is. He is infinitely worthy of glory and honor, and able to give me the power to tame my tongue and remove bitterness and jealousy from my heart.

I'm sure we all struggle with gossip, bitterness, and jealousy at different points in our lives. The season I am in seems to be filled with loads of all three. I am so thankful for God's grace to me now, and I am thankful to be surrounded by men and women who challenge me to be more like Jesus.

Scenes from a Christmas House

2011-12-23T13:42:00.000-06:00

I wish all our family could come to our house over Christmas, but the busyness of this time of year always seems to catch up with us. I wish they could all see how we've incorporated decorations and ornaments that have been handed down to us on both sides from our grandmothers and great grandmothers. I wish they could feel "the glow" we feel in our home this time of year. Instead I decided to take some pictures so I could show them our cozy flat from afar. Hope you enjoy the tour!

Oh, hi there.

2011-12-19T14:16:00.000-06:00

What a crazy couple months this has been for us! Kyle and I just wrapped up yet another semester of classes. He is now half way through law school, and I am done with my graduate couse work! All I have left is a couple big exams (one in January, one in March), completing my internships next semester (one at an elementary school and one at St. Louis Children's hospital) and I am DONE. I am amazed at God's grace sustaining us through the last (almost) two years. There were many unknown factors and risks when we followed the Lord's guidance to come here, but he has made our paths straight.

(SLU Speech-Language Pathology, Class of 2012)

I wish we had any other big news to report other than the busy-ness of life. For those who have been inquiring/praying for my stepmom, we still thank you! As of this morning, dad said she's hanging in there, working through the pain. She is done with chemo, done with everything, trying to make the best of whatever is left. She has had to cut back to working part-time, which has been very hard. Diane loves her job and takes so much pride in her work. She's always had a deep commitment to the bank where she is a Senior Vice President. They have shown her incredible kindness and made it clear that her years of hard work would not go unnoticed. We are grateful for that. She will keep working as much and as often as she can.

There is an uncertainty about the whole situation, however, that makes the holidays a bit bleak. My dad and Diane LOVE Christmas and typically go all out. Dad told me this morning they haven't bought a single present because they've been trying to spend every moment together. What could anyone say to that? How do you face the holidays, knowing it's the last with someone you love so dearly? Shrug.

(Thanksgiving 2011)

A number of other health issues popped up over the last couple months in my family, including my stepdad getting an abscess colon which is incredibly dangerous and life-threatening. Our family has been in relatively good health for a long time with no major issues, so I suppose we were just "due."

In the midst of all this, Kyle and I are still trying for a baby, which is gut-wrenching. All the drugs, the books, the blogs, the talking to other couples with infertility - none of it can really predict how you will feel when you go through it and still see negative after negative. Some days I am able to trust in perfect peace, and be content that God's timing is perfect and some day we'll see all of this clearly, other days I am a haze of emotions from bitterness to jealousy to deep sorrow.

I can honestly say, however, that because of all of this (NOT in spite of all of this) I have gained a deeper love for Jesus, and a deeper love for my husband and family. I am continually amazed at God's kindness to me in these hard times, and the way it continues to shape my soul.

I am so often reminded of my sin, how prone I am to jealousy and gossip, to resentment and hopelessness, but he continues to remind me that my hope is not in the things of this world, my hope is in Christ alone. He surrounds me with people who remind me of this. He shows me that lasting joy is not found in anything here. At some point all the people we love will pass away, all the dreams we have about our lives will mean nothing, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
(Psalm 73:26 ESV)

(August Gate's new location)

The next few weeks will be spent relaxing as much as possible, reading books, being crafty, and spending time with friends and family. Kyle and I have are so happy and so deeply in love with each other. I say that only out of gratefulness. So many are torn apart by hard times, but Jesus has pushed our hearts closer together. We are so excited to be home together (when not working) over the holidays. We are truly trying to count our blessings instead of sheep. I hope you all have a very merry Christmas filled with love and peace.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-30T12:17:00.000-05:00

It wasn't until about three days ago that I finally got into the Halloween spirit. I've been overwhelmed by midterms and the flu, and haven't felt like myself at all. Finally on Thursday (just two days before our party) it finally kicked in and I started going crazy cleaning and decorating.

Kyle and I still didn't know what we were going to be (usually we know by August!) so we threw out some last-minute ideas and decided to be Jack Donaghy and Liz Lemon (played by Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey) from the TV show 30 Rock.

There were tons of great, witty costumes, but I must say that my personal favorite was our friends Jacob and Aileen, who dressed up as us! They were great identity thieves.

Aileen cut her bangs, and Jacob put white in his eyebrow. So funny!

Tomorrow night we will welcome trick-or-treaters dressed as zombies. Should be a great Halloween!

An Update on Diane

2011-10-27T10:50:00.000-05:00

Thank you so much to the many, many people who have been praying and encouraging our family since we found out about my stepmom's cancer! It sounds so cliche, but even words from strangers have meant to much to her and my dad throughout this nightmare.

Since I first wrote about it, Diane changed her mind about getting chemo and is now receiving treatment down here in St. Louis at Barnes Jewish Hospital. They had a little more hope to offer her, not that they could get rid of it, but that they could slow it down. I honestly think she decided to do it for my dad, and he has been so happy she chose to do so.

Before they started chemo, they also found that she had a tumor in her brain that was inoperable. They were able to treat it with radiation and as far as we know, they got it all. Praise the Lord for small victories!

Once the started the chemo, things weren't going too badly until one day Diane started having horrible pain in her abdomen. She soon found out that she had kidney stones, and this would be the story of her life for the next two months. After seeing three urologists and having four surgeries to try and remove them, they just keep coming back. No one really knows what is causing them to develop so rapidly.

Diane has been in almost constant pain and completely miserable. She said the chemo alone wouldn't be so bad if she could just kick these kidney stones. After her most recent trip to the hospital this week with one, she said that something has to change. Finally, the doctor realized that the chemo could be causing them (something we've been asking about this whole time) and they are investigating what they can do differently.

(Photo taken after leaving the hospital from round two of chemo, and after surgery 3 for kidney stones.)

They are mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. Being in almost constant, severe pain is something I can hardly imagine. Taking care of someone you love and watching them suffer for two months straight is something I can hardly imagine. My dad and Diane still need so much prayer and so much support.

Once she is healthy enough to get her third round of chemo, we will hopefully be able to find out if it is actually working. However, if they can't figure out what to do about the kidney stones, there may not be any more chemo. The girl can't live that way, and we can't blame her.

This morning my dad said they would just like a little time to be "normal." Only God knows what comes next. We still trust, still pray, still wait.

For my mommy friends: 20 tips for early language development.

2011-10-01T12:42:00.002-05:00

Hello to all my friends who are parents. Some of you are seasoned parents, and some of you are brand new. Yesterday I went to a great seminar with the fabulous Dr. Celest Roseberry-McKibben and I was inspired to share some things with you about speech and language development for your little ones. I'll try to post a few of the things I've learned across the lifespan, but I really want to start with how you can help your little baby during the first year of his or her precious little life.

Most of these things are simple and natural. You probably already do them, but maybe you don't even know how important they are and how many people don't do them!

Read to your baby. This is something most of you already do, but it's so important! Language development starts on day one and it is never to early to start reading. When you do, point to words, identify title and author, and let baby turn pages.
Talk to your baby face-to face. It helps when they can see your mouth and your expression.
Label common objects. Yes, even infants can benefit from seeing written words and understanding that words are symbols for things in our lives.
Introduce music and singing. Don't be shy! Your baby won't care if you are tone deaf.
Let the baby have a safe-glass mirror to look in.
Point out and name body parts during dressing, and bathing.
Use short utterances with simple grammar.
Heighten facial expressions, gestures, and intonation. You may look ridiculous, but studies have shown this "motherese" is really beneficial to development!
Play turn-taking games such as patty cake and peek-a-boo.
In very early infancy, introduce black and white objects. Newborns need the high contrast of black and white. (Sorry, but all those bright colors you used to decorate the nursery? Yeah, they can't even see them yet.)
Imitate the sounds the baby makes, and introduce new sounds to the baby. These could be actual speech sounds or just silly sounds you can make with your mouth.
When your baby makes sounds or babbles, respond to him/her. Baby will begin to see that all this jabbering has a positive effect and helps them achieve something.
Make a habit of using greetings and saying goodbye. Say hello/goodbye to anyone and everything. Say goodnight to stuffed Elmo when he goes in the toybox.
Provide simple opportunities for baby to put items in and take items out of containers like tupperware. This is great for fine motor skills and teaching concepts like in/out, on/under, in front/behind, up/down.
When you do chores or run errands, bring baby and describe what you're going. "We are walking in the grocery store. We are picking out apples and bananas," etc.
Expand on what your baby says. If you read a book and baby sees and says, "Bear!" then you might respond, "Yes, I see a brown bear in a tree." Soon, you'll see baby's phrases getting longer!
Introduce two languages from birth, if possible. Yeah, that's pretty a big one, but even throwing in some simple words and phrases from another language can help!
Remember that the American Pediatric Association recommends NO television before the age of 2. I realize that's pretty strict, but try to keep it to a minimum.
Try to give baby as many different experiences as you can. Baby needs as much context and world knowledge as possible so he/she can conceptualize things later.
Love and snuggle baby. Never underestimate the power of physical closeness and lots of smooches. A secure attachment to you can literally affect baby's whole life.

Maybe you already knew all of this. Great! Maybe it was a nice refresher or confirmation that you were doing the right things. Great! Maybe you got some new ideas. Great!

I'm excited about everything I learned yesterday. I hope I can share more soon!

Pumpkin Cupcakes + Cream Cheese Frosting

2011-09-11T15:41:00.002-05:00

I waited as long as I could to make my pumpkin bar/cupcakes this year. I tell myself every year that I will wait until October to make anything pumpkin. This year, I made it all the way to September 11th. That my be my personal best.

This is a recipe that I found with my granny many, many years ago. We LOVE fall and we love baking.

The key to making pumpkin cupcakes is to make a really, really big mess. If you haven't completely destroyed your kitchen and your clothes while making them, you just didn't do it right.

I start by gathering all my ingredients and taking over the entirety of the counter. Oh, and rather than printing my recipe like a sane person, I like to just leave the PDF up on my computer. This will ensure that your computer gets a little seasoning. That's really good for your computer. I promise.

Then I like to haphazardly throw all the ingredients into the mixer at once. Forget separate bowls and added steps. Just throw it all in and mix, mix, mix.

While the oven is preheating, pour the batter into a 9x13 pan or into 24 cupcake holes.

Bake until they're done. About 20 minutes.

While they are cooling, make some delicious cream cheese frosting. Really whip the heck out of it.

Then spread it on the cake or put it in a bag and decorate it all fancy-like.

If you're really patient, put them in the fridge and let them chill for a little while before you eat them. Just make sure you refrigerate them at some point. You don't want that cream cheese frosting getting all funky.

Hope you enjoy this delicious fall treat!

Pumpkin Bars

2 C Sugar
4 Eggs
1/3 C Vegetable Oil
16oz Canned Pumpkin
2 C Flour
1⁄2 tsp Cinnamon
1⁄2 tsp Salt
2 tsp Baking Powder
1 tsp Baking Soda
3⁄4 C Butter, melted

Directions

Preheat oven to 350° F.
Combine all ingredients in a large bowl until blended.
Grease a 9x13 baking dish and pour in batter.
Bake for 25 minutes and cool completely before frosting.

Cream Cheese Icing

1 stick Butter
1 3oz Package of Cream Cheese
2 C Powdered Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla

Directions

Soften butter, but do not melt.
Whip all ingredients together.

Kyle's Summer

2011-07-30T06:10:00.003-05:00

A few people have asked about what Kyle has been up to this summer, and since I cannot convince him to start blogging again, I thought I would share a bit about it.

He has been working for the Simmons firm, primarily in the intellectual property department, and LOVING it. Springfield friends will be familiar with the Simmons name from their cancer institute in Springfield. I think he has found his dream job, and I am so proud!

I cannot express enough just how happy he is with his job this summer. He continues to put in a lot of long hours and work very hard. He is getting so many great learning experiences, and getting to see what a day in the life of an attorney is like. His hard work has not gone unnoticed, and he feels like he is appreciated there. I know he finds the work challenging and fulfilling.

I'm not sure that I have ever seen him so happy or enthusiastic. His job has been, without a doubt, the best thing about this summer. I am so, so grateful that he is finally getting to do something he loves!

July twenty-ninth.

2011-07-29T16:56:00.000-05:00

There are two significant events that have occurred on July 29th for Kyle and I. They might sound silly, but they were very important to us at the time. The date will never roll around with me thinking about them.

July 29, 2006. Kyle picked me up in Gatlinburg, TN after I had been gone for two months working as a missionary in the Smokies. That was a long, hard, blessed summer. Reading this old post reminds me of just how challenging it was, made more challenging by my excitement about getting married at the end of it!

Finally, July 29th came. My man was on the doorstep of that mountain cabin and he was taking me home! Two weeks after he picked me up, we were married in Springfield, IL.

Fast forward to July 29, 2010. After being married and living in southern Illinois for four years, Kyle finished his very last day working for the Southern Illinois Miners. In May of 2010, we moved all our belongings to Saint Louis, MO, where I was beginning graduate school. Kyle stayed with his parents IL for two months to keep working until he started law school in August. Again, we had been living apart all summer, and on July 29th we were together again! That was another hard summer, and one I would very much like to never repeat.

This July 29th is not nearly as eventful. I just finished my last summer of classes (291 days till graduation!), and Kyle is working until 5 (working, by the way, for a firm he loves). All in all it has been a pretty great, normal day. Sometimes the ordinary is extraordinary.

Distracted.

2011-07-25T20:57:00.001-05:00

It's 8:54pm on the night before a final exam, and I have just two things on my mind.

Pinterest. My obsession never ends.
This guy. Oh. My. Word. As someone recently told me, "Man candy!" So gorgeous.

No backsplash? No problem.

2011-07-17T14:11:00.000-05:00

When we first moved in to this little flat, I thought maybe I would paint something under the cabinets in the kitchen, which is just white wall space. Then I realized how long that would take, that I didn't have the energy, and that I would rather invest my time into something we can take when we leave this place.

I got an idea a while back to give our kitchen a little facelift using some thrifted plates as a faux backsplash. Since then, I have been scouring for pretty plates of all shapes and sizes, some thrifted, some store-bought. I finally accumulated enough this weekend to complete this project.

So here is our newly refreshed kitchen "backsplash." Sorry for the photo quality. I was just too lazy to get out my big girl camera. Too lazy to even move the dirty glasses from the kitchen counter, apparently.

It has definitely been a DIY kind of weekend. So much homemaking, so little time. Boy, do I love being home and being pseudo-crafty.

Lettuce Eat Veg: Broccoli

2011-07-12T20:56:00.001-05:00

Welcome to my new mini-series! Yes, I made the title a pun. Since we all now know how I don't eat vegetables, I thought this might be a fun (or horrible) experiment. Each week I will attempt to try a new vegetable and tell you about it.

Broccoli has been a long-time nemesis of mine. I hate the smell and despise the texture. Recently, however, I found that it is possible to smother it in enough of something I do like in order to choke it down. Even more recently (as in two days ago) I also discovered that I like hummus. The very idea of it weirds me out, but I actually bought some Atheno's hummus at the store today, along with some fresh broccoli.

Then I realized something about myself: I have no idea what to do with fresh broccoli, or any fresh vegetable, other than carrots. Even my carrot prep skills are limited to one of three things: eat them raw, put them in the crockpot with a roast, or feed them to the dog.

I remembered someone saying that cooking vegetables depletes the nutrients, and since I HATE the smell of broccoli anyway, I just thought I'd eat it raw and smother it in hummus. It worked! I managed to choke down about 3/4 of it, and I ate all my carrots.

For dessert, I sliced up fresh peaches and sprinkled just a smidge of sugar and cinnamon on top. It was refreshing and delicious.

All-in-all, my first attempt at broccoli was a success. Maybe next time I'll try something more than just washing it and cutting it up.

Their Big Adventure: Las Vegas

2011-07-11T09:38:00.000-05:00

Dad and Diane are now in Las Vegas! I've never been there, but I hear that it is a spectacular sight to see, even if you don't like to gamble.

When Diane sent me this picture, I thought it was a giant aquarium! The more I look at it, the more I think it looks like a scene from Wall-E.

They are having a wonderful time, and I know they appreciate all the prayers and well-wishes. I do, too. Thanks for all the love.

Their Big Adventure: Colorado

2011-07-10T10:16:00.001-05:00

Dad and Diane have been travelling since Friday afternoon. Diane sent me this pic from Glenwood, Colorado.

They've been texting me throughout each day, updating me on what they are seeing. Diane always greets me with a "Good morning, sunshine!" Dad ends every text in "Love, Dad." They are precious.

I am so thankful they are getting to take this trip!

2011: The Year of the Vegetable?

2011-07-09T12:08:00.000-05:00

It's a pretty well-known fact that I am not a good eater. I used to say "picky," but let's just tell the truth: If I were truly picky, I would be much more selective about what I put in my body, like lots of sweets and processed foods. The truth is that I am just bad at eating. I often eat too much of the wrong things, and not even a little of the right things.

So you get the idea of the severity of this problem, here is a list of the vegetables I like:

Green beans (from a can only)
Carrots
Potatoes (do they really count?)
Sometimes lettuce, but only Romaine lettuce (no salad dressing!), and only occasionally

That's it. Please allow yourself a moment to feel the weight of all the many vegetables NOT on that list. Not much in the way of plant life.

Here's the thing: I want to like veggies. I really, really want to. Life would be easier if I did. I LOVE to grow them. I love to look at them and take pictures of them. I like watching other people eat them. Well, that is, except for mushrooms. I don't even like to think about mushrooms. *Shiver*

So, what I want to know is, have you ever forced yourself to like a food? Is it even possible? My blog friend Jenna thinks it is. I would march on over to the market and buy me a bushel and a peck of vegetables if I thought I could like them, but I'm skeptical. I periodically try different veggies prepared in different ways just to see if maybe I like them now. I don't. Do you think I can be converted?

Do you have any KILLER vegetable recipes that will magically change the way I feel about a particular vegetable? If you convince me, I will try it. I'll even blog about trying it! Should I just shut up about liking them and eat them anyway because they are good for me? That's probably right.

Please help me. I crave the nutrients. Also, it's super cool and trendy to eat things you grow. I like being super cool.

The adventures of Watson, the farm dog.

2011-07-08T09:42:00.003-05:00

Our sweet pup spends most of his days in our small flat with no real yard. He gets long walks around the neighborhood, but he is always tethered to his mommy or daddy. Whenever we go visit my mom or grandparents, Watson gets to run however he likes around their yards, and we love to watch him romp and play.

On the farm, however, his romping goes to a whole other level. There aren't fences there, and my dad's "yard" is about 2 acres, which opens right up to the rest of the land they live on, about 35 acres. The first time we took him there, we were a little nervous that he just might bolt out into the cornfields and we'd never see him again.

To our great surprise, he mostly stays right by our sides. If he runs ahead, he'll often stop and wait for us, giving us a look like, "Are you people coming or what?" Sometimes he'll circle around us like he's herding us. We really get to see how good of a dog he can be.

I've never seen him more happy or excited than when he's on the farm. He's kind of like him mommy in that way. I mean, look at that view, isn't it lovely?

He's always tracking something. Nose to the ground.

Trapesing through muddy ditches.

Getting clean from said mud and about a hundred burrs he got stuck in his fur from the fields.

He never stops moving or wanting to play.

He steps a little lighter.

Jumps a little higher.

Pants a little harder.

Snuggles a little sweeter.

Crashes a lot harder. Please note the open door. He went in on his own.

Watson loves being a farm dog.

The dreaded C-word.

2011-07-05T16:55:00.003-05:00

Cancer. There can't possibly be many words on Earth more frightening. Three weeks ago my stepmom, Diane, went to the hospital with pneumonia. While there, the docs took a sample of the fluid in her chest and found it to be malignant. A hundred tests and one week later, it was confirmed that she has stage four lung cancer. And she's forgoing treatment.

I think a ton of bricks fell on my chest. It doesn't seem real. When I talk to Diane, she sounds so good. Healthy. Strong. But it's in there, tearing apart her body. Tearing apart my Daddy's heart with it. Diane seems to be at peace. She trusts in Jesus. She is ready to meet her maker.

The rest of us, especially my dad, are another story. He can't sleep, can't eat. I can see it in his eyes. They've gone a little dimmer. His face is thin and tired. I am praying so hard that God would intervene and fill him up with peace. That my dad might be able to say, through the deepest possible pain, that he knows it will be okay. That he knows that God will equip him in every way. Diane does. I do.

I love Diane so much. She has been part of my life almost as long as I can remember. Even before she and my dad were together, she was a friend of my parents. To this day, she and my mom still love each other and get along wonderfully. Growing up, she sat through almost all of my ballgames, plays, and performances. She's been there for it all. Mostly, though, I love her for how she loves my daddy.

As a little girl who was brokenhearted over her parents' divorce, I wanted my dad to be happy again and share his life with someone great. She is what I prayed for, more than what I could have even thought to ask for him. She loves and takes care of my dad in a way that I can't fully explain. She makes him laugh, makes him strong. She is his best friend. I am so thankful for the life she breathed into our broken little family.

Right now, it's hard to think about how our lives are going to change. We're grateful for this time. Grateful for the life she still has yet to live. Grateful for the memories yet to be made. For vacations. For skydiving. For for fireflies and fireworks. For frisbee. For laughing. For the love we all still share.

Our hearts are heavy, but that's because they are so full of love, and that kind of love isn't easy to come by, so we're hanging on tight.

In the summer, in the city

2011-06-23T22:39:00.001-05:00

Our little flat on Magnolia Avenue isn't exactly overflowing with green space. While we are fortunate enough to live on a street lined with giant, old, shady trees, our front yard is completely sloped and the space out back is completely paved. This means that a would-be green thumb like me has to make do with a few potted plants, and shoving growing things into every nook and cranny that she can.

This year I have a total of 14 (eek!) containers of multiple shapes and sizes, full of as many different kinds of flowers as I could manage. I hung three large planters over the side of our deck. The flowers have been struggling a bit due to the severe heat we were having, but this week's cooler temperatures have allowed them to green right up. And yes, I have a garden gnome. A garden needs whimsy, okay? A garden needs joy and laughter. A garden does not need stupid lawn ornaments, but a garden does need one small gnome named Mungo Boffin of Needlehole.

I also dug up some over-grown hostas along the side of our building to insert some color in the shade. No one really sees this space but us, but we have to make the best of what little we have.

While this century-old brick patio may not look like a haven to you, it certainly is to us! It is also a huge chore to keep looking nice. Well, er, sort of nice. Have you ever tried to manage the weeds in a century old brick patio? Trust me, it could be a full-time job. I do my best. We have some plants and a fire pit. It's nice enough for now.

Watson and I sat for several hours on the front stoop tonight. We've never done that before. It was really nice out and we got to see the neighborhood pass us by. Watson is a very active member of the neighborhood watch association.

Whitaker Music Festival

2011-06-16T00:14:00.001-05:00

Kyle and I packed a picnic and headed over to the Missouri Botanical Gardens, just down the street from our house. We met up with some of my classmates and their men to partake in the free concerts that happen every Wednesday night at the Bo.Gs, as I like to call them.

It was the most beautiful night of the summer, so far. The temperature was perfect, no humidity, full moon, fireflies galore. It was a super sweet little picnic with my man and my friends.

Plus, I finally got to use my picnic basket. We got it as a wedding gift, and after nearly 5 years, we finally got to show it off. It received many oohs and aaahs. Thanks to whomever purchased it for us. I can't remember who you are anymore. I should've taken a picture, it was so pretty. Next time! Hopefully not five more years...

If we get more nice weather, I would love to go back and do this again. It was free and full of happy people and it was awesome to enjoy the beautiful, fragrant gardens. Oh yeah, and some band played, too, but we couldn't hear them. It didn't matter. The company was too good.

Broiled Tilapia Parmesan

2011-06-01T20:59:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe I have never posted this recipe. It is a staple in the Bass household, and my absolute favorite fish recipe of all time. Please make it this week. We keep tilapia in our freezer at all times. It's super cheap and easy. Oh, and fish is actually good for you. Did you know that? The American Heart Association recommends eating it twice a week.

So, on to the big show. From my own kitchen, here is Broiled Tilapia Parmesan:

1/2 C Parmesan cheese
1/4 C butter, softened
3 T mayonnaise
2 T lemon juice
1/4 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp ground black pepper (optional)
1/8 tsp celery salt (optional)
2 lbs tilapia fillets (4-6 pieces)

1. Preheat your oven's broiler. Lightly grease a broiling pan. *Be sure to use a broiling pan, not an aluminum baking pan!*

2. In a small bowl, mix together the Parmesan cheese, butter, mayonnaise and lemon juice. Season with dried basil, pepper, onion powder and celery salt. Mix well and set aside.

3. Arrange fillets in a single layer on the prepared pan. Spoon cheese mixture over fillets generously. Place in oven and broil for 8-10 minutes or until fish is white and flakey and topping has browned.

Makes 4 servings. That is, if you can bring yourself to only eat one piece. ;)

You and your family are going to love this!

Say Whaaa? An update on making babies.

2011-05-31T15:45:00.000-05:00

We're approaching the two-year anniversary of when we officially got the news we had infertility. In some ways, not a lot has changed. We still don't have children. We still desire them. We still love and trust Jesus (now even more than back then).

In some ways, lots of things have changed. We live in a different state. We are both in graduate school. We have been blessed to watch many (and what seems like most) of our friends have beautiful babies. We've even seen some walk through the pain of losing their babies. As I write this, I'm just finding out about my cousins who are losing their sweet newborn baby girl, Tilly Jo. We've seen so much joy, and we've seen the depths of loss and grief. We've lived.

Back in November I started seeing a specialist here in St. Louis, a reproductive endocrinologist, who sees a bajillion women with PCOS (that's Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome for you newbies) and other kinds of infertility and helps them get on the right track. He read my history, and talked to me at length about my symptoms. He was very interested and moderately puzzled. He did not think I was the "classic case" of PCOS as my former doctor thought.

So we did more tests. Lost of blood work. Two of those nasty glucose tests. To my surprise, they said I'm healthy. They said it ISN'T PCOS. Everything came back pretty normal, with the exception of very mild, sub-clinical (meaning - so mild they likely won't even treat it) hyperthyroidism.

The good news? I'm pretty healthy. The bad news? We still have infertility; now it's just unexplained infertility. There is now, apparently, no real explanation for why my cycle is so irregular and why we haven't been able to get pregnant.

So now I don't know what to do. For now it seems we're just floating along, content to rest in the arms of Jesus, knowing that he is sovereign over all these things. I mean that. I really am fairly content (this week, anyway) and it is because I trust God. I don't have any answers, except that I know we will be parents some day, and that I am still praying we will get to have biological children, as well as the adopted children we know God has for us.

It's hard to even ask for more prayer after all this time. I can't even think of it when I look at my sweet cousins and think about little Tilly Jo who is going to be with Jesus soon. Their loss makes my own pain feel trite, but it isn't. God sees all of it. Would you pray for them?

Thanks.

Right now my life looks like...

2011-05-26T16:24:00.003-05:00

Inspired by a friend's recent list post, I decided that I, too, love writing and reading list posts, so I would write one.

So, right now my life...

It looks like a mess of unfinished projects. I still have a handful of invitations I need to send out for an upcoming bridal shower for Keith and Loni; I have two large bookcases on the floor of my spare bedroom with a coat of primer that takes seven days (!) to fully harden; I have two cans of paint waiting to go on the walls of our spare bedroom; I have a kitchen table in desperate need of a fresh coat of paint after nearly five years of my abuse; I have a painting that I started months ago that I feel like I'll never finish. Basically paint, paint, and more paint.

It looks like me going crazy trying to finish said projects before I start school again, and at the same time knowing that I probably won't and don't really need to rush.
It looks like chasing after a very bad puppy who insists on eating every rug in the house and scratching up grout from between the tiles in the kitchen.
It looks like a string of doctors visits and lab work as we're still trying to figure this fertility thing out.
It looks like afternoon dates with friends to hang out while I have time.
It looks like a hundred trips to Lowe's, Garden Ridge, and Target.
It looks like eating dinner at home every night with my man, which is wonderful.
It looks like naps and movie marathons.
It looks like two people reading whatever the heck they want to read, which for me currently includes some Sci-Fi, and some non-fiction fertility books.
It looks like a house ransacked by toddlers, just like Jenna, but I don't have any toddlers to blame or even my husband really. The messes made are mine, and I've reached that point where I am uncomfortable and I feel like it will never look good again.
It looks like early to bed, early to rise, which may be a first for me while I'm on break.
It looks like wearing the same clothes three days in a row because who's gonna know?

This break has been oh-so-good, but part of me is excited to start school and just get these last two semesters of class over with so I can graduate already.

Engaged: Keith + Loni

2011-05-23T10:07:00.000-05:00

This weekend, not only did I have the spectacular privilege of hanging out with my brother and soon-to-be sister, I also got to talk with them about all things wedding and marriage and even take their pictures. We had a blast roaming around the city together.

Loni and I had our own little adventure on Friday while we drove around the greater St. Louis area like mad women dropping of resumes for her at a bajiliion dentist offices.

She's a hygienist, you know. Can't you just tell? Look at that beautiful smile!

We spent the rest of Friday afternoon and all of Saturday morning at Target and Bed, Bath, and Beyond working on her bridal registry. Loni and Keith had already made a good start at it, but sometimes walking around with someone who's been married for a little while, who knows what you might need, is helpful. It was fun to see what their tastes were and all the things they picked out!

When Keith arrived on Saturday, we spent the afternoon all over Tower Grove Park, Soulard, and Lafayette Square. There were a few places I had been eyeing for the better part of a year thinking that they would make fabulous spots for photos.

We met Loni's sister, Lindy, and her hubs, Adam, for dinner at one of our favorite places, Square One Brewery. They were in town celebrating their 5th anniversary, and I loved meeting them!

On Sunday, we had an all-day adventure just trying to get brunch somewhere! It was painful, but the crepe I had at the end of it was worth the whole grueling experience. Sadly, shortly after we returned, Kyle started getting sick. It could have been the food, or one of the many objects we found floating in our water glasses. Let's just say that the restaurant we picked was probably not up to code for cleanliness.

Overall it was a fabulous weekend, and I was so sad when Keith and Loni had to leave. Here's hoping that they'll find jobs here and live close by!

If you want to see all the pictures from the engagement shoot, and you're my friend on FB, you can see them here.

Summer break.

2011-05-17T13:59:00.001-05:00

Life got a little busy in the last month, but I'm happy to say that it has settled back down again. This is my summer vacation. I have three weeks off before summer classes and clinic resume. I am already enjoying this wonderful time and making plans for how I want to use my next few weeks. I even started a list of all the little things I want to do using the "Tasks" function in my Google calendar. I love that thing!

Anyway, some of my rough plans include:

Not wearing makeup, even in public. One of the beauties of living in a big city is that you can be anonymous. Chances are, I won't see anyone I know, and if I do, they probably won't recognize me, ha!
Finishing a couple paintings that have been in queue for months now.
Run, run, run. My first 5K is right around the corner. I don't think I'll be able to run the whole thing. Right now, I can't run two full miles, and I'm supposed to be able run 3.1 in less than a month! BUT, I will try. I will finish it, even if I have to stop and walk. My only wish would be that Kyle could run it with me to keep me moving, but he still can't run because of his knee.
Cooking. I miss cooking for my man. I haven't cooked much at all in the last year beyond throwing something frozen in the oven. I used to cook all the time. I miss the satisfaction that comes from feeding my little family.
Catching up with friends.
Finishing many little household jobs, like mending a couple shirts for Kyle, cleaning out our office, getting the apartment manager to come fix a couple things, etc.
Getting a tan. Well, not much of one, but a just a little sun won't hurt, right?
Taking pictures. I'm doing some engagement pictures for Kyle's youngest brother, Keith, and his lovely bride-to-be. I also just want to point my camera at everything because my poor little Canon just hasn't seen much action lately. My Flickr photostream has been inundated with Instagram pics lately, though, like this one of my mom's dog, Starbuck, and me. He's my bebe brudder.

I'm sure I'll find many more projects to do along the way. I've been working on the invitations for my soon-to-be second sister-in-law's bridal shower we're having down in Anna with the Bass family. I love doing things like that!

Surprise Flowers

2011-04-16T14:21:00.001-05:00

One day last week, Kyle and I stepped out on to our front porch early in the morning to find that we and all our neighbors has bouquets of flowers on our doorsteps. We still have no idea who put them there or why they did it.

It wasn't May Day. It wasn't the first day of Spring. It wasn't any kind of special day that we could think of. It was just a nice gesture, I guess!

Thanks for the flowers, whoever you are.

Wall Ball

2011-04-10T21:34:00.001-05:00

Amidst the many, many things we did this weekend, Kyle and I went to the Wall Ball. It was a fundraiser where dozens of local artists (and hundreds of onlookers) gathered and each created some form of artwork during the event. They held a silent auction and donated the proceeds at the end of the night. They had live DJs spinning, a huge bubble bus outside the building, drinks and appetizers, and more colorful people than there were pieces of art. It was a pretty cool event and we really wished we could bid on some of the pieces.

One of my favorite parts of the event was this little photo booth where you could put on crazy props and make stupid faces and they take your picture and make you laugh. If I had known about something like this when we got married, we totally would've had this at our wedding!

In this picture, you can totally see us in the background. It was at about that moment that I was nudging Kyle saying, "Look! I want to do that!" It was free, so he obliged.

And yes, those are my bare legs, not white tights, in case you were wondering. What can I say? I have a husband who's into skin so white it glows.

Mixer Winner.

2011-04-05T19:10:00.001-05:00

No, I did not give away a mixer like PW always does, but I did choose a winner from amongst the many KitchenAid mixers I've been contemplating. It only took me four months! Dad gave me the cash at Christmas to pick the one I wanted.

I finally bit the bullet last week and got one. It arrived in the mail yesterday. It was a very, very happy day.

It has a 6qt bowl and several different attachments. It's a dark gray/ pewter-ish color and I love it.

After I looked and looked at all the bright colors online and some in person, I finally decided to just get something more neutral that would keep me happy for the long run. I was afraid that I'd be tired of one of those bright ones in just a couple years. No matter my kitchen decor, this one will be A-okay.

I can't wait to do some mixin'!

Kyle's birthday, a recap.

2011-04-04T23:20:00.000-05:00

The sun was shining warm and bright on Saturday morning as we slowly got up out of bed. The kitchen window full of sunflowers set the tone for our day.

We got cleaned up and headed downtown to Rooster, a great little restaurant for a weekend brunch. We both ate delicious meals and shared a crepe with nutella and strawberries. I'd like more right now.

We then walked a few blocks over to the London Tea Room, one of Kyle's very favorite places in the city. We shared a pot of sencha green tea, which I turned out to dislike, but it was a lovely time anyway.

(At this point, Kyle was probably already tired of pictures.)

From there we made our way over to the stadium, but not without stopping for pictures along the way, of course. Some with my phone. Some with my dear Canon.

The game was a bummer. The Cardinals lost by a 7 or 8 runs, I think. I spent way more time people-watching, as usual. It was fun just to be there on such a gorgeous day over opening weekend.

After the game, we walked down toward The Landing to eat sushi at The Drunken Fish.

I don't really like sushi, but Drunken Fish offers many alternatives. I ordered a BLT roll (yes, that is what you think it is) and it was delicious!

We completed the day at our favorite place, The Gelateria. Kyle and I had peach and chocolate gelato, respectively, then finally went back home to relax and watch Dr. Who.

It could not have been a better day! We basically ate our way across downtown St. Louis, but hey, that's our favorite way to celebrate!

Kyle Bass #27

2011-04-02T10:37:00.000-05:00

Today is Kyle's 27th birthday. What a day it is! God's glory and grace is so clearly demonstrated to me in Kyle every day. I can't believe this is the 8th birthday I've spent with him, and I love looking back at how much he's grown into the amazing MAN he is today.

(artwork courtesy of my sweet friend Amy Rose of Bunnies and Bows)

So far for his birthday, Kyle got the amazing drawing above and a bicycle from me, and some fat cash from family.

Today's festivities include: breakfast at the London Tea Room, tickets to the Cardinals game, and a sushi dinner at The Drunken Fish. The only thing that could make this day more "Kyle" is if we watched LOTR or Dr. Who, which we just might do after sushi tonight. What fun it will be!

I love you, Kyle Bass!

Spring Break, Part 4

2011-03-26T01:00:00.001-05:00

I guess the last exciting thing we did over break was celebrate St. Patrick's Day. Being one of my favorite holidays, I went all out this year. Kyle made plans to go out with some guys to The Bleeding Deacon for an Irish dinner, so I had my friend Kim over and made her a traditional Irish dinner for two. We listened to some Irish pub tunes on Pandora and had a great time just being together.

I set the table with my two, green Anthro glasses, my (Irish) great-grandma's lace table runner with a piece of scrap green fabric I had in the closet underneath, and added a sweet little pot of shamrocks on top, which are still bringing joy and color to my kitchen.

For dinner I made delicious beef and carrots slow-roasted in Guinness, champ, green bread, and a whiskey mousse pie, which could get you a little tipsy if you're not careful. Served with your choice of Harp or Guinness, of course!

It was a really fun way to spend one of my favorite days of the year.

Spring Break, Part 3

2011-03-23T22:52:00.001-05:00

On Wednesday of our break, we decided it was time to get up and out of our pajamas and do something fun. The weather was nice and there were a couple things we'd wanted to do since we moved to St. Louis.

We got dressed and headed out into a gorgeous day.

First stop, the Zoo. I had not been to the St. Louis Zoo since I was in high school and I didn't remember just how huge it is! It doesn't seem possible that such a big place exists in the middle of our fine city.

There were so many cool animals to see, and I took about a gatwillion pictures. I won't bore you with all of them.

Next stop, the Cathedral Basilica. Can I just say, AMAZING? It really is an incredible structure. It's open all day, so the next time you're driving down Lindell and you have 20-30 minutes to pop in and look around, you really should. It's a beautiful place with a unique part in the history of this city.

By the time we got done being tourists in our city, we were exhausted. That night we went home and crashed on the couch with a marathon of Parks and Recreation. Another glorious day on our break!

Happy birthday, Watson!

2011-03-21T23:54:00.002-05:00

Today, our puppy boy turned 1 year old. Happy birthday to my favorite little puppy in the whole wide world!

Here are some things about our puppy who is no longer a puppy:

Watson will do just about anything you ask of him for the chance to chase a ball or eat a single piece of kibble. Just wave one of the above in his face, and you will find yourself in command of a highly obedient pup. If, however, you don't have one of the above, you might as well forget it.

He is a serious chewer. He chews anything and everything. We have to be very selective about the types of toys we give him or else they'll be gone in a flash.

His favorite everyday toy is definitely his green ball, but his favorite toy of all time is still Quacker. We are now on Quacker #4, and we no longer let him play with it unless he has direct supervision. He loves to eat the fur and tear it to shreds, so we keep it put away most of the time.

His favorite place to lounge is on the bed in our spare bedroom. This provides him with a clear view of us in the living room and the opportunity to monitor the hallway for his kitty sister. He really, really loves to chase his kitty sister.

He always knows when we're about to leave the house. He lays on the floor next to my vanity and pouts while I do my hair and makeup. It's just about the most pitiful thing I've ever seen.

Every day we give him one or two small carrot sticks to munch on. They keep him occupied and out of trouble and they are good for his digestion. Carrots = Winning.

Since the weather turned and the windows have been open, he now sees it his job to sit in the window and ~~bark at~~ watch the alley. He is protecting our house from intruders and squirrels. Mostly squirrels.

He loves, loves, loves his daddy and going on walks with his pack (that's us). Despite his love for walks, he is a terrible walker. He constantly pulls on the leash. We've tried multiple collars and harnesses, walking sticks, reading two Dog Whisperer books to work on our "calm, assertive energy" as pack leaders, and puppy training classes. He is still terrible on the leash. We now walk him with a Halti. It helps a lot to prevent him from pulling, but he constantly paws at his face and whimpers, even on hour-long walks.

We just can't believe this crazy little puppy we brought home from a dirty shelter is already a year old. When we brought him home he was very calm and scared of everything. Now he is affectionate, happy, and outgoing, and constantly battles to try and run the show.

He may never be the world's most obedient dog, but he is dearly beloved by us and so many others. Happy birthday, Watson Bass!

Spring Break, Part 2

2011-03-19T09:33:00.002-05:00

After we returned to St. Louis, we had the great joy of babysitting this little guy. His name is Gus. He's 10 months old. He was a super easy baby to watch. I was happy that all the toys and books I've been saving were finally put to good use.

In retrospect, we probably shouldn't have let him feed himself so much, but he was sure cute with ravioli in his ears. Watson enjoyed the floor cleanup duty.

We had to hose Gus down in the kitchen sink, but he didn't seem to mind.

What a doll!

If you are viewing this post from Facebook, please be aware that I will not be able to see or respond to any comments unless you go to my blog and leave one there. Please leave one! I miss you people. I'll be back on Facebook on April 24th, after Lent is over. See explanation here.

Spring Break, Part 1

2011-03-18T00:21:00.001-05:00

I spent the first part of my spring break with my family in and around Springfield. I don't know what to say about it, other than that it was awesome, so I'll just show you.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T09:30:00.000-05:00

St. Patrick's is absolutely one of my favorite days of the year. I enjoy it in so many ways.

I love it because my family is Irish. I love it because it's perfectly okay to celebrate it even if you're not Irish. I love it because it's perfectly acceptable to drink a Harp before noon. I love it because I get to cook traditional Irish food. I love it because I get to watch The Quiet Man.

I love it because St. Patrick was a man who loved God and shared that love with countless others. He didn't really drive out any snakes, but he did drive out paganism and teach the Gospel.

St. Patrick's Breastplate:

Christ be with me
Christ before me
Christ behind me
Christ in me
Christ beneath me
Christ above me
Christ on my right
Christ on my left
Christ where I lie
Christ where I sit
Christ where I arise
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me
Christ in every eye that sees me
Christ in every ear that hears me
Salvation is of the Lord.

Hope you have a wonderful St. Patrick's day, however you celebrate it!

Announcements

2011-03-11T00:42:00.001-06:00

I am at an age in life where it seems as though every day some friend somewhere is making some exciting announcement about his or her life. I'm going to backpack across Europe! I'm engaged! I'm pregnant! I'm moving to (insert glamorous place) to (insert glamorous job)! I'm awesome at my life and marriage and career and reproduction!

These are all wonderful things. After a while, though, one starts to hear these things and feel really insecure about her own life. It starts to feel small, drudgerous, and flailing. That is, at least, if you're anything like me, which I suspect many of you are.

It isn't that you aren't happy for your friends and their beautiful homes, budding careers, shiny cars, flat stomachs, and fertile wombs. It isn't even that you feel you deserve it any more than they do. You know that we're all completely and equally undeserving of such wonderful blessings. So what is the problem? Why does it hurt? Why does this happy news make you feel so unhappy?

In my life, I can usually answer this by simply stating "I'm just not content with where God has called me." I feel like my plans and my desires are better. On paper, it sure seems that way. Who wouldn't want a real job and an income instead of accruing sickening amounts of debt in grad school? Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to own a home instead of paying ridiculous rent for a crummy apartment for 5 years? Who wouldn't want a naturally lean body instead of having to work out or count dumb old points? Who wouldn't want ovaries that work instead of a bunch of little cysts that give you facial hair?

Well, I guess I now have to raise my hand and say, "I wouldn't." For the first time in a long time (maybe ever), I am beginning to look at all aspects of my life and see them in a much different light. I am reaching a point where I can confidently say that I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I know there is a greater purpose in everything. It sounds so cliche, but it's true. I know it. I feel it. God's word affirms it.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Don't misunderstand this verse. God isn't telling Israel that it's going to be a bed of roses. In fact, they're about to face 70 years of exile from their homes. They're going to serve an earthly Babylonian king who is corrupt. They're going to face famine and disease. So what is their future hope? It is the same hope God gave to Abraham over 1000 years before:

The word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward. (Genesis 15:1)

The Lord himself is my hope, my future, my delight, my reward. It isn't in my earthly circumstances. This is marvelous. God himself. Just think of it.

I feel a shift in my heart. I can be happy for my friends and admire what they have without feeling so terrible about my own life. How? Because I know that while my life may not look so fabulous to others or even to me at times, I'm where I'm supposed to be. And I know that when this is no longer where the right place for me, God will open a door to something different. For better or worse, my hope is built on nothing less.

If you are viewing this post from Facebook, please be aware that I will not be able to see or respond to any comments unless you go to my blog and leave one there. Please leave one! I miss you people. I'll be back on Facebook on April 24th, after Lent is over. See explanation here.

Some things about today.

2011-03-10T19:27:00.005-06:00

Today, I can only think about two things. The first is getting out of here for spring break. I have this idea in my head that the semester is downhill after spring break. I'm probably going to have a rude awakening about that, but at least campus will start to turn green again.

The second is eating a sundae from The Fountain on Locust with one scoop of mint, one scoop of chocolate, and a generous topping of their signature hot fudge.
I became the Foursquare "mayor" of Nadoz Cafe. I now get a 25% discount as long as I remain the mayor. This means that my daily, $.65 pretzel roll is now only $.48. Big spenda!
Watson has thrown up twice today, but he doesn't seem to be feeling sick at all. He's is usual, playful, adorable self.
I have nothing due tomorrow. I can't remember the last time I said that. Watch out, Thursday night NBC, here I come!
I discovered today that ModCloth has a BLOG. There goes all the time I was saving not being on Facebook. I really like what I've seen and my favorite feature is the "Blogger of the Moment." I love the style! *sigh*
Speaking of Facebook... I've been off it for two days, and it's only a little weird. Surprisingly easy thus far. I do think, however, it will get more difficult with time as I start to feel out of touch with people. The last few days, I've made a point to email people as I think of them or see something in my daily browsing that I think they would like. Also, I replaced the FB bookmark in my browser with a bookmark for the study bible. I can't tell you how many times I have mindlessly clicked on that spot in the last couple days. It has been eye-opening.

My mouth is literally watering as I am still thinking about that sundae. I better get off here and go eat something healthy. Three hours on campus tomorrow and then Springfield for the weekend. Can't wait to see my parents and grandparents, and to stick a shamrock in my hair and celebrate St. Patrick's Day with my favorite Irish lady, my grandma! We LOVE St. Patty's.

If you are viewing this post from Facebook, please be aware that I will not be able to see or respond to any comments unless you go to my blog and leave one there. Please leave one! I miss you people. I'll be back on Facebook on April 24th, after Lent is over. See explanation here.

Mardi Gras and Lent

2011-03-08T09:41:00.001-06:00

Happy Mardi Gras! Get all fatty today and celebrate. I'm not celebrating just because it's Fat Tuesday, but I'm celebrating because I am looking forward to the next 40 days that we call Lent and the coming celebration of Christ's death and resurrection.

What is Lent? Many people who celebrate it or use it to "give something up," don't really even know why, and many people who don't celebrate it think it's a silly ritual. When I was very young, I thought it was just about giving up something you like to earn brownie points with God. As I was going through catechism, my pastor explained that it was about using these 40 days to reflect on what Christ has done for us, laying his life down for our sins so that we can know God eternally.

Many people add in special times of reading, reflection, and prayer leading up to Christmas, when we celebrate the birth of Jesus. How much more then should we celebrate in the time leading up to Resurrection Day, when Jesus said, "Finished!" When the blood of Christ was accepted as a substitutionary sacrifice, a propitiation, for all our sins for all time. Hallelujah, He is risen!

As we reflect on the things above and prepare our hearts for Easter, the resurrection day, sometimes we give up things up that might distract us. Sometimes we give up things we love because so we can be reminded to depend on God as our greatest source of joy on this Earth. Some people don't give anything up per say, but add in more time reading their Bibles or praying.

A few days ago, I felt that maybe I was supposed to give up Facebook for Lent. No, God, you surely wouldn't want me to do that, right? The more I think about it, the more certain I feel that I am supposed to, no matter how tough it will be. I don't even know if I have the self-discipline to do it, but I will depend on God for that too.

Some people might think I'm ridiculous. It might be true, but I know I spend way more time on there than any person should. I really do want this season of Lent to be about more than ritual. I want to focus on the meaning behind the ritual and I desperately want to draw near to the Lord in prayer and his word.

I'll still be blogging and tweeting. I haven't gone that crazy, haha. I hope that you, too, will find time in the next 6 weeks to focus your heart on God's finished work.

How are you celebrating Lent? How can I pray for you?

Visitors

2011-03-08T00:01:00.003-06:00

On Saturday, my mom and stepdad, Dan, came down for the afternoon. It was a very quick visit - just long enough to greet Watson and go to lunch. It was so nice to see them and so nice to be taken out to eat!

Kyle had the splendid idea to take them to The Fountain on Locust, one of our favorite places. It was a big hit. The food was really good, as always, and the desserts were even better. Gotta love that homemade hot fudge.

It was a fun little afternoon. Even though it was short, it really worked out great for all of us since Kyle and I are so busy. Plus, I get to see all of my family again this coming weekend while Kyle is in Peoria for the annual Bass mens' pilgrimage to the IHSA Boys State Basketball Tournament.

A Little Slice of Pye (sneak peek)

2011-03-07T01:25:00.004-06:00

Sunday afternoon, I had the amazing privilege of doing a little photo shoot for my friend, Jillian Pye. She needed pictures of the clothes and accessories for the new spring line of A Little Slice of Pye. It was pretty exciting for Jillian, the models (Josie and Sharon), and me! These are just a few of my favorites. The rest are Jillian's to share at her discretion. I'll post more once she gets a look.

I had certainly never done anything like this before. In the past I have photographed family, friends, pets, and landscapes, but a staged shoot? No way.

I was so nervous, and I had serious butterflies leading up to the time of the shoot, but once we got rolling, it was much easier. By the time the shoot was over, we were all exhausted, sweaty, and starving, but I know everyone had fun.

Then, oh THEN, I started editing. My WORD, I was hooked. The editing was maybe my favorite part. I have no idea if my edits are really any good, but I sure had fun doing it. I have no formal training in either photography, or in using photoshop. It takes me forever to do simple things, but it makes me so happy just tinkering around.

Now that I've dipped my toes in the water, I could so take this little hobby of mine to the next level. I know that photographers are a dime a dozen these days, and I know that highly-trained, highly-paid photographers tend to disapprove when hobbyists turn into cheap, for-hire photographers, but Kyle and I are broke, you see, and any little job I could get would help us out big time. So, for my friends who are real pros, I'm sorry.

That being said, anyone need pictures taken?

Pasta Fagioli

2011-03-06T11:27:00.001-06:00

Every time I make this soup, people beg me for the recipe. I've made about a hundred different versions and it never comes out exactly the same, but it's always good.

I made it tonight for dinner with the covenant members of our church. Even though I left out several ingredients and substituted some others, it was still good. I also took some major shortcuts due to time contraints. I just think you can't go wrong with this soup.

Here's the recipe I've adapted over the last few years:

Pasta Fagioli From the kitchen of Chelsea Bass
1 lb ground beef
1 small onion, diced (1 cup)
1 large carrot, julienned (1 cup)
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 14.5 oz cans diced tomatoes
1 15 oz can red kidney beans (with liquid)
1 15 oz can great northern beans (with liquid)
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
1 12 oz can V-8 juice
1 T white vinegar
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp basil
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp thyme
Dash of cayenne pepper (optional)
1/2 lb (1/2 pkg.) ditalini pasta

1. Brown the ground beef in a large sauce pan or pot over medium heat. Drain off most of the fat.
2. Add onion, carrot, celery and garlic and sauté for 10 minutes.
3. Add remaining ingredients, except pasta, and simmer for 1 hour.
4. About 50 minutes into simmer time, cook the pasta in 1 1/2 to 2 quarts of boiling water over high heat. Cook for 10 minutes or just until pasta is al dente, or slightly tough. Drain.
5. Add the pasta to the large pot of soup. Simmer for 5-10 minutes

Makes 8 servings

Printable Recipe

A spattering of thoughts and daydreams

2011-03-01T22:24:00.002-06:00

I often have the urge to blog about every thought that comes to my mind. Lucky for blog readers, there's now this thing called Twitter (maybe you've heard of it?), which allows me to spill the contents of my scattered mind, moderately guilt-free. Still, though, there are some thoughts I pretty much cannot resist sharing. None of them are significant enough to merit their own post, so this is what you get. Randomness.

Every day I bring a snack to class with me and try to wait as long as I can to eat it. Today I lasted 7 minutes. That's the record.
Our church is growing like a beautiful weed rooted in the Gospel. I love the people of August Gate dearly. We are continually growing and challenged in our own faith, and I pray that more will be blessed in the same way.
I haven't seen a single member of my family since Christmas. You'd think I lived more than an hour and a half away. Sadly, school has interfered.
I've been averaging 5-6 hours of sleep per night. This is partly the demands of school, and partly my insomnia, which intensifies with stress.
Two more of my non-runner classmates jumped on the C25K bandwagon with me. We're going to have a lot of fun crossing the Susan G. Komen finish line together.
I often daydream about what I would do if I could quit school and start a different life. My choice lately would be to move back home to the family farm. In my dreams, I start my own organic farming business (with the help of expert growers and livestock raisers, Dad, Grandpa, and Grandma) and also use the farm as a location for my booming photography business. In my head, this is very successful and I am very happy. I get to work with my family, live on the prairie, be outdoors, use my hands, get dirty, be creative, and bring new life and purpose to our old, dying farm. This sounds so good. Why am I in grad school again? *sigh*

This is the east porch at my dad's house on the farm (Grandma and Grandpa J. live up the hill). Daddy built me this porch swing before I left for college so I'd always have a peaceful spot to come home to. Lord willing, it will someday hang on my own front porch. This is maybe my favorite place to be in the whole world. It over looks his beautiful, luscious, 2-acre yard, my favorite tree on the planet, and miles of open plains. It's so quiet. So peaceful. I feel really teary and homesick as I write this. I better stop before I lose it.

Cake Batter Pancakes

2011-02-24T21:42:00.000-06:00

We now interrupt this weight loss plan to bring you something really, awesomely bad. My friend posted a link a few days ago to these amazing-looking cake batter pancakes. I've had them in my head for days and at precisely 7:17pm, I decided we were having brinner (breakfast for dinner) and that these must be part of it.

I pulled up the original recipe with the pretty, pretty pictures taken in a beautiful natural morning light (which makes everything look better), put on some Radiohead, and started dancing around my kitchen like Thom Yorke. The recipe was super easy to prepare with very basic ingredients you probably already have in your pantry. I cut it in half because there's only two of us, and what do you do with leftover pancakes?

The results were great. I was a little low on sprinkles, but I don't know how I could've handled any more sugary anything. These puppies are even sweeter than I expected, and I expected it to be really, really sweet. Next time I make them, I may add some blueberries to the batter to lighten it up a bit.

They would be a perfect, fun, birthday breakfast for your kiddos, your sweetheart, or yourself.

C25K

2011-02-18T12:20:00.002-06:00

Couch-to-5K is a running program for non-runners and couch potatoes. I am about as non-runner as it gets. I'll do any workout video you throw in front of me. I'll walk the dog for an hour. I'll even hop on an eliptical for 30 minutes if I must. Just please, please don't push me outside and make me run. Please?

It seems that so far this semester, my life has been about doing things I hate to do because they are good for me. I often fall on my face, but I'm learning how to fail, and how to get back up and try again. This is just another one of those things.

I've been interested in doing C25K for a long time. I first heard about it a last year when we were new to St. Louis. One of our pastors, Noah, was beginning the program and regularly posting his progress. More recently, my friends Keli and Courtney (both non-runners) have turned into genuine running princesses, which sparked my interest even more.

The way it works is you download the app for your iPod or iPhone, choose the music you want to hear while you run, and then a little guy comes on telling you in intervals when to run and walk. Today I completed Week 1, Day 1. I couldn't do all the things the guy kept telling me to do. Several times I ignored him when he told me to start running again. It sucked. Big time. I never want to do it again, and it was only day ONE. Running is so not for me... but I'll keep trying, anyway.

When it was over, I mentally felt like this. A little fuzzy, but strong.

Physically, I felt like Watson. He, too, was exhausted, dirty, and panting.

I'm not going to make any declarations. I'm not going to promise that I'll finish this thing. I can only promise that I'll keep striving toward healthier living, and I'll definitely fail along the way.

p.s. I haven't quit Weight Watchers. I haven't counted points for the last couple weeks because I've been so overwhelmed with school. Hopefully now I'm adjusting to the work a little more, so I'll start seeing those numbers go down again. Praying for more motivation and self-discipline, which I lack in just about all areas of my life.

August Gate at the Mardi Gras Family Carnival

2011-02-12T15:53:00.000-06:00

Our church volunteered all day at the Mardi Gras Family Carnival. This was a family event and a lot of fun! Kyle and I worked the "robes" station, where kids could come and make their King Rex Robes. Apparently, Rex is the king of Mardi Gras. Who knew? All the AG volunteers worked hard and seemed to be have a great time talking to kids, their families, and making colorful things.

It was a fun day and great to be out as part of the community.

If you can't see the photos, click here.

Birthday #26

2011-02-08T23:52:00.003-06:00

The events leading up to and including the day I turned 26 years old.

Feb 7, 1:00am: Outburst of tears as we get ready for bed and the dread of the coming school week gets the best of me. I tell Kyle that I don't know how I'll ever survive this semester. He comforts me and prays for me right then and there.
Feb 7, 1:00pm: Major outburst of tears after a horrible therapy session where I fall flat on my face. My terrible performance as a speech therapist is well-documented and pointed out to me by my clinical supervisor. Cue sobbing.
Feb 7, 3:15pm: Have my first laugh at how badly I just failed. It was bad like whoa.
Feb 7, 3:45pm: Arrive home and begin reading birthday cards in which multiple members of my family write that my hard work will pay off and I will make a great SLP. Cue another 45 minutes of tears.
Feb 7, 5:03pm: Kyle offers to do anything I want for dinner. I pick Cheesecake Factory accompanied by a trip to Macy's to scope out mixers. Sadly, I wasn't even excited.
Feb 7, 8:00pm: Return home feeling moderately better, but still rather crummy.
Feb 7, 11:42pm: Decide that though I've been dreading turning 26, it's really a good thing. It's one year closer to 27, when I'll graduate, to 28, when Kyle will graduate, and then to my 30s, which I am praying will be much less angst-y than my 20s.
Feb 7, 11:58pm: Cue Peter Bjorn and John "Nothing to Worry About," and let the solo living room dance party commence.
Feb 8, approximately 12:15am, end said dance party and go back to homework for another hour. Mentally prepare for the upcoming day of being on campus from 9am to 8pm. Wince.
Feb 8, 7:42am: Robin singing in the tree outside my bedroom window puts tears in my eyes. I haven't heard a bird sing like that in months, and it feels like it is a gift just for me.
Feb 8, 8:43am: Leave home. It's cold outside but the sun is shining and the sky is blue. Feels like it's going to be a good day.
Feb 8, 11:15am: Walk to the law building to meet Kyle for lunch. He surprises me with Chick-fil-a. He walked all the way to the student center (far from the law building) in windy, 10 degree weather to get it for me. I color worksheets for my afternoon client and get odd looks from law students.
Feb 8, 5:07pm: A few classmates sing a slap-happy "Happy Birthday" in the dungeon.
Feb 8, 5:10pm: Sweet classmate, Megan, delivers to me the most delicious chocolate raspberry tort thingamajig I've ever tasted.
Feb 8, 5:19pm: Whole class sings at the insistance of Dr. Fuller. Blush.
Feb 8, 6:03pm: Give the wrong answer to a question in class for about the 123rd time. Shrug.
Feb 8, 8:09pm: Finally arrive home after 11 hours on campus to find that Kyle surprised me with one more gift: a Kate Spade case for my Macbook that I've wanted for a long time.
Feb 8, 8:10pm: Find out that even though is says it's for a 13" Macbook, mine doesn't actually fit in it. Bummed, but not that bummed.
Feb 8, 9:36pm: Kyle surprises me again and breaks into the living room singing with a Mrs. Fields cookie cake he ordered days ago and picked up today. He put candles on it and made sure the cookie decorator used a lower-case b in birthday, because he knows that birthday should never be capitalized, and it's an ongoing joke/pet peeve we have.

Feb 8, 11:20pm: Finish responding to all 181 Facebook messages, wall posts, tweets, emails, texts, and phone calls. Feel very loved and blessed that 181 people would take the time to wish me a happy day.
Feb 8, 11:38pm: Decide that there's no way I can finish all that needs to be done for tomorrow. Decide that I'll take a good night's sleep over an A+ on tomorrow's quiz and call it a night.

Thanks be to Jesus, my husband, my family, and my friends who all made this birthday so incredibly special.

All about Ellie

2011-02-06T21:24:00.002-06:00

I don't talk about our little kitty much anymore. While she used to be #1 around here, her low-maintenance ways have sent her into a back seat position around here. It isn't that we don't still adore her, it's just that she's so good and so easy (especially compared to a certain other animal in our house), we sometimes don't appreciate her like we should. In fact, some of our friends forget that we even have a cat because we talk about Watson so much.

Here are some things you should know about Eleanor:

She is really pretty and we absolutely love those baby blues.

When we first found our little stray kitten, she was all grey and she fit perfectly on the palm of my hand. Sometimes I look at her and can't believe it's the same kitty.

She loves to lay in window sills and warm, sunny places.

She spends most of her time either sleeping in a warm place or watching Watson from behind the TV. Sometimes she also sleeps behind the TV.

She has this weird thing about strawberries. Every time we bring them in the house she tries to rub all over the package. She doesn't like to eat them, but they make her crazy!

She loves to be as high as possible. One of her favorite spots is the top mantle in our bedroom. She sleeps up there and keeps her eye on Watson when he's in his kennel. I'm still amazed when I see her jump up there. It's SO high!

She loves to get inside of anything she can. Boxes, cabinets, bags, you name it.

In general, she's just a really good girl. Sometimes she starts trouble with her puppy brother, but she also puts him in his place. We like that about her.

The Dilemma of Painting

2011-02-04T15:33:00.003-06:00

It has been nearly two years since I painted anything, and at 11:30 last night, the urge hit me and I just had to paint. I've been holed up in the office most of the day finishing it.

I have a huge dilemma when I finish a painting. Often I start a painting with the intent that I'd like to try and sell it, and or give it to someone in particular. By the time I finish it, however, I've poured hours of work and love into it, and I love the way it turned out, and I don't want to part with it! Such is my dilemma today.

Kyle's suggestion is to list paintings like this that I love on Etsy, ask a decent price (X hours labor, plus supplies) and if no one buys it, we get to keep it. According to him, it's win-win. I still hate to part with it, but we could use the money.

Whatever shall I do?

I love this man.

2011-02-02T17:03:00.000-06:00

That is all.

Winter on Magnolia Avenue

2011-02-01T15:35:00.001-06:00

Back in the fall, I gave you a nice little photo tour of our street. While Winter lacks the color and warmth of autumn, it has its own kind of beauties.

The ice began falling from the sky Monday afternoon and hasn't stopped falling yet. When I stepped outside last night the ice-covered trees sparkled in the dark. It was kind of magical. I took Watson on a little walk this morning and noticed all kinds of wintry beauty in the neighborhood.

I adored the spectrum of reds, purples, and greens in these icy buds. I walk by this small tree multiple times a day and I never noticed the colors until it was covered in ice.

This little old fence is covered with climbing flowers in the summer, but in the winter you can appreciate the intricate patterns and twists that have withstood years upon years of extreme weather.

None of this is snow on the ground. It is all ice for now. With every little stem of every little branch of every big tree, you can really see the richness and fullness of these trees. I'm amazed by the details.

None of this is snow on the ground. It is all ice for now. With every little stem of every little branch of every big tree, you can really see the richness and fullness of these trees. I'm amazed by the details.

My favorite thing about a snow storm, or ice storm in this case, is the way it makes the city so quiet. I'm sure I've said it before, but my least favorite part about living in the city is the noise. Somehow the snow and ice have a way of dampening everything. People stay in and so there aren't as many cars on the road or neighbors outside. There's silence and peace. When I took Watson for a walk this morning, we didn't see another living being besides birds and squirrels out looking for food. I love that.

Watson looks cute all the time, but I like him covered in little ice crystals. He likes it too and did not want to go inside today. In fact, he's been begging all day to go out. Times like these I wish we had a fenced-in yard...

He kept getting hit in the eyes with sleet while I was trying to take his picture. He sat still like a good boy, though. I almost felt bad for him, but the look on his face was also pretty cute.

Back inside the house, a few of our windows are iced over...

... and there's turkey roasting in the crockpot. Phoenix, Snow Patrol, and Mumford & Sons are giving me a warm, happy feeling through the stereo.

Hope your snow/ice days have been peaceful. Here's hoping we get a repeat tomorrow!

Help me decide!

2011-02-01T00:01:00.003-06:00

For Christmas my dad spoiled me and supplied me with the means to purchase the KitchenAid stand mixer of my choice. After much deliberation (for the last 6 weeks) and visiting multiple websites and stores, I am still at a loss! I want to get it right because this thing is going to be around for a long time. I've finally decided on a model, the 5 quart Artisan Series, but I still can't pick a color. The real problem is that every color renders differently depending on the website, so I'm not really sure what any of them are going to look like in real life. I've gone to look in stores, but they only ever seem to have red, white, black, and silver.

From Bed, Bath, and Beyond, I like the colors Ice...

and Tangerine...

On Macy's site I like Pistachio...

and now Cinnamon.

How in the world am I going to choose? I need your help. Now, I can't promise that I'll choose the most popular color, but it will definitely influence my decision.

Things that may influence your decision:

My kitchen has each these colors (and many more) in the decor.
I don't intend to leave this thing out on the counter. I can't stand a cluttered counter, and since I have the cabinet space I will be putting it away.
I want a color that makes me feel bright and happy when I see it. I want to pull it out of the cabinet and smile, not just because I'm about to make something delicious, but because I'm using this happy-looking machine.
No, I really don't want white, black, or silver. Yes, they may be a little more classic and timeless in appearance, but I'm going for pure joy here, people!
For some strange reason, I feel like the color I choose says something about me and I'm having a mild identity crisis.

Which color are YOU? (Browse many more color options here.) Maybe you've already found your perfect color like my friend, Keli, who is SO Empire Red.

Which one of these would you pick for me? Halp!

Snow Day!

2011-01-31T14:51:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is a snow day. SLU cancelled classes for the first time in 10 years, and there isn't even any snow or ice on the ground yet! We have a lot of work to keep us busy around here. I suspect there will be much reading and writing happening, and hopefully some Netflix-watching, too!

I'm making a turkey breast in the crockpot for tomorrow and we are pretty well-stocked on groceries. If we needed anything, I'd say it would be potatoes and bananas, but we'll survive without them, I suppose. We have other fruits, vegetables, meat, bread, milk, eggs, and all the other basics! I'm pumped.

Poor Watson is not so pumped. He has been cooped up too much lately and not getting walks every day like he's used to getting. He is very antsy which makes him even more poorly behaved.

I love a good snow day, especially when I get to stay in and snuggle with my man. My man, however, would probably take a few days of school over more snow and ice. He unabashedly hates winter and loves the heat. I unabashedly hate any weather over 82 degrees, so there! Anyway, you won't likely find him acting like this tomorrow.

Via Kate Spade

Anger and Forgiveness (repost)

2011-01-30T20:41:00.001-06:00

I can't explain why, but while we were with our church tonight, I started thinking about this old blog post from 2009. I had this strange thought to repost it. Perhaps I just needed to re-read it (even though I don't think I've been struggling with any anger or forgiveness lately), or perhaps someone else out there does.

9/23/09

Each of us carries around more anger and frustration in our lives than we even know. When I start thinking about all the things that upset me, I get overwhelmed. Let's face it, we all have our reasons for feeling justified in our anger. Lately I've been trying to remember that everyone I see is carrying a burden of pain, hurt, and regret that is unique to their own life and experience. Our personal ghosts may come in many forms, but we all have them.

This has been a theme in my life recently. I see anger in myself and in the lives of many others around me. We're angry at God for the way he's made us. We're angry with our life circumstances and we're tired of dealing with it. We're angry with our brothers and sisters for mistreating us, for ignoring our hurts.

Perhaps someone truly has wronged you. Perhaps your circumstances truly aren't what the world would call "ideal." Maybe you truly are justified in your anger... or are you?

We must turn to Jesus in answer of this question. He was scorned by man, by us, more than we can probably imagine. Betrayed, beaten, abandoned by those who claimed to love him. He knew we would do it. He even warned us we would do it. Yet... he still shed his blood on our behalf. He still called us "Brothers." God made a covenant with us, that we would be his sons. We would act against it again and again, many times without even realizing it, but God would keep it despite our unfaithfulness.

It wasn't because we deserved it. It wasn't even because of our repentance or our commitment to preach the Gospel, or keep his word. He chose to set his affections on us because of who he is, not because we were really great people.

Maybe you've also entered into a covenant with a spouse, or a church. At one time, they claimed to love you, and they may be the ones who have hurt you most.

We must choose to forgive others because of who he is. They may never ask for it. They may always feel that they were perfectly right in their actions or hurtful words. But if we are generous with anything we've been given by God, it must be forgiveness. Pray diligently for their repentance, and strive to be reconciled with them, but do not let forgiveness depend on their actions. You cannot control that and it will only cause your heart to be burdened longer. Do not deny the peace of Christ by harboring anger in your heart.

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Colossians 3:12-13

Keep the cross before you. Know that Christ's work was finished, that your sins were forgiven, that you received grace and mercy, that your ability to forgive rested on the shoulders of the man hanging on the tree. It remains there, still.

Christian, the Holy Spirit has equipped you with the ability to forgive. You cannot do it by your own strength. You must have faith that God can change your heart. Even if your anger is pointed directly at him, you must trust that he will replace it with joy.

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
you have loosed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness,
that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!"
Psalm 30:11-12

Long days

2011-01-27T00:02:00.000-06:00

In high school I used to wake up around 6:30am, shower, do my hair and makeup, and often would have to be at school by 7:30 for jazz band practice or some other club meeting. I would then go to class until 3pm, followed by either some kind of sports practice or going to work. Then I would rush home (or to Subway), grab a bite to eat, and go back to the school for play practice where I would stay until 9 or 10pm. After that I would go home, do homework, go to bed, and then get up and do it all over again.

I never thought a thing about it. I never felt fatigued or overworked. I loved all my extra-curricular activities and I didn't dread school. I didn't complain about going to work or practicing sports. I just did it, mostly with joy.

Somewhere between then and now, something has changed. I don't know if it's laziness, old age, or a change in responsibilities, but now I feel so tired and emotionally drained at the end of every day. I get up later, get home earlier, and have way fewer extra things happening outside of school. Why do I feel so much more tired? Why do I feel so much more pressure and get so depressed about my life?

Perhaps then I didn't know any better. By that, I mean, perhaps I was so busy and put my nose to the grindstone so much that I didn't have time to feel tired or defeated. Sure, I still had bad days back then, lots of them... but looking back I can't ever remember feeling the way I do now at the end of the day. I can't remember crying over all the stress or shutting down and doing nothing because I was just too overwhelmed.

Maybe it's because I bear more scars now than I did back then. Life happens, and inevitably you go through hard things. I went through hard things then, too, with friends, family, and boyfriends, but now I feel as though things are so much heavier. This is sad because the truth is that my burden is light because of Jesus. I know that he is my redeemer and that I move forward in life because he made me his own. I know this, and still I feel so weary.

Maybe it's because I'm an adult and married and have to be responsible for so many things at home that I didn't before. Maybe it's because school now includes more than just classes, but giving therapy to people who have a real need and will be impacted forever by how I help (or don't help) them. Maybe it's just because I'm a graduate student and I won't feel this way so much when I'm finally out in the working world. Maybe it's because I've lost sight of who I am in the sight of God and I don't live in a way that reflects my joy in knowing him.

I wish I had an answer for why things seem so much more difficult now. Don't get me wrong; I still do fun things, and have friendships, and am madly in love with my hubs, but I'm praying that I can fight fatigue, laziness and anxiety, and press on with peace, joy, and confidence that God has called me to this specific place for a reason. I want so badly to find joy in it because of that.

I'd really like to know, am I the only one that feels this way? Surely not. Kyle and I talked about it and I know he's in the same boat as I am. We both feel far more worn-down than people only in their mid-20s ought to be. When you look back on younger days, do you wonder what happened, or are you still the same person you always were?

A dose of sunshine

2011-01-18T19:54:00.001-06:00

It was a particularly gloomy day here in St. Louis. The sky was dark grey and continually spit ice and snow. Thankfully my friend, Toni, provided just the dose of sunshine I needed today. Ah, to live in California...

(Photo courtesy Toni Weber)

I'm ready to join her and move out there. Who's with me? For now I guess I'll have to find other sources of sunshine, like reading her blog and looking at pictures of other warm and sunny places. Stay sunny, my friends.

Week 2

2011-01-16T05:35:00.001-06:00

Two weeks down with Weight Watchers. I'm actually surprised I lost weight this week since I did nothing but lay in bed and cough. In fact, that's exactly what I'm still doing. Can't. Stop. Coughing.

Anyway, it was a pleasant surprise to step on the scale and see another 5 pounds gone. I still tried to stay within my point limit every day, which was no problem since I had very little appetite. I drank a lot of water. I haven't exercised at all, and I don't know when I'll be able to again. This isn't exactly how I though week 2 would go, but it's still okay.

I'm just hoping that as I get better and stronger, I won't throw the diet and exercise out the window, as has been my post-sick pattern in the past. If I can make it back on track, I think I'll be good until my next big obstacle... my birthday.

Another 5 lbs gone! Woohoo!

So ill.

2011-01-14T10:04:00.000-06:00

I'm not talking about Southern Illinois. I mean, like, ohsoillyouprayGodwilltakeyouhome ill. It has been a very unpretty week here in the Bass household. As always, my hubs is the trooper of all troopers. Boy, does he love me well! I cannot tell you how good he is.

I had sincerely hoped to make his first week back at school a good one, but instead he spent his nights studying alone, taking care of the dog alone, and being my good, good nurse and comforter. Sick as I was, one good thing always comes out of me being sick, I am reminded of just how marvelous God is to give me such a husband. I've said it before. I'll say it again. He's the BEST! I know a lot of people think that about their husbands, but I just cannot believe there could be one so great as Kyle.

He is so caring, thoughtful, tender, and strong. He carries me through everything, and that's no simple task. He loves me with the extraordinary, unconditional, unending love of his savior and mine, with the love of Jesus.

Thank you, Lord, for such a man!

Week 1

2011-01-09T12:44:00.000-06:00

I'm doing Weight Watchers. Yeah, it's time for me to get in shape again and I've failed on my own more times than I can count. My mom and I are doing it together and we are both super pumped! I'm hesitant to write about it because it's such a vulnerable spot for me and has been for much of my life. I guess my thought was that if I don't write about it, people won't know that I need to lose weight, that I'm out of shape and unhealthy. Well, I realized that someone could just take one look at me and know that, so why not write about what I'm going through? Hopefully it will motivate someone else.

Here's a picture of us the week before beginning looking nice and chubby.

For the first week, the leaders at WW gave us a little assignment to write down ten things we've learned. I didn't think I would be able to come up with ten because I thought I already knew it all. I've been telling myself that I know how to eat healthy and exercise, but I just need accountability. Well, I was wrong! So here are just a few of the things I've learned in week 1.

Portions. When I cook at home, I tend to cook pretty simple, relatively healthy meals. They usually consist of some kind of meat, some kind of starchy side like a potato, rice, or pasta, and a vegetable. Starting WW hasn't drastically changed the way I cook, but it has made me realize that the portions I've been giving myself are WAY too big. For example, I've always made spaghetti with lean ground beef and whole grain pasta, but the serving I gave myself was probably four times too big, and I often returned for seconds. This week I made it the same way, but scooped out a 1/4 C of pasta with a 1/2 cup of meat sauce. I didn't make garlic bread, but salad and fruit instead.
Blinders off. Wednesday night we used our Applebee's gift card. This seemed like a good choice since I knew they had WW options on their menu. I was disappointed to find that they only had a few items with the WW label, but after looking at the nutrition facts and calculating the points I discovered I could eat a small steak and half a baked potato for less than some of the WW items. After I decided what to order, I looked up the points for other menu items that I used to order and I was shocked. My favorite chicken tenders were worth almost a full day's points! This was hard to take, but I was glad to know the truth. It definitely motivated me to learn about what I eat before I put it in my mouth.
Balance. Friday night we joined friends from our church at Mojo Tapas by our house. Kyle and I had walked by it many times on our way to The Gelateria, and always wanted to try it. We really liked the atmosphere and the tapas were so good! I had a very low-point day leading up to our night out and I did my daily shred with Jillian, so I didn't feel so bad ordering just what I wanted. We split crab empanadas and calamari. I skipped the table bread, which was difficult, but Kyle said it wasn't that good anyway. The next morning, to my great surprise, I had still lost weight!
Small goals. I have a fair amount of weight I want/need to lose, so when I try to think about that big number, I get a bit overwhelmed with grief and remorse that I've let myself get this far out of shape. However, if I think in terms of 5 pounds, or even 5%, I feel much more able to accomplish my goal.
Motivations. I have to be honest with myself about my motivations. I have many. They range from wanting to honor God with how I take care of my body, wanting to be healthier, wanting to increase our chances of fertility, wanting to just feel better, all the way down to wanting to look better in clothes, and to not be the "fat Bass wife" (if you knew how beautiful my sisters-in-law are, you'd understand). Now, I know that items 1, 2, and 3 really ought to drive me more than anything, but all I have to do is take a walk around the mall and look at the clothes I want to wear, and all of the sudden I am back on track. It's silly. It's frivolous. It's really superficial, but it's the truth.

I'm going to install a little tracker of some sort on the side of my blog so you all can stay in the loop about where I am in the process. I'm hoping to reach my goal by the end of June. I'll try to remember to update it weekly, but once I start back to school next week, I'm not making any promises. Thanks for any encouragement or prayers you might have on my behalf. If you just want to snoop, that's cool too. I would!

Holiday Rundown

2011-01-03T15:35:00.000-06:00

I'd originally titled this post "Christmas: The Breakdown," but decided that carried the risk of it sounding like I had a bad Christmas, and that is FAR from the truth.

We spent Christmas Eve at my mom's house where we had a huge dinner and played games. It was a night that I would call... eventful. I'll just leave it at that!

Christmas day my mom's family has the tradition of volunteering at the Salvation Army and bringing dinner to the residents there.

Grandpa, Kyle, and Noah setting up the salad table

Noah loving on Granny in the kitchen

We helped with that then grabbed Watson and took him to my dad's house. After hanging out there for a couple hours we went to my cousin Dustin's house where my dad's family was gathered. We not only celebrated Christmas, but my great-grandma Jennie's 94th birthday.

My dad and me

Dad and Great Grandma

Our plans to travel to Pennsylvania to visit Kent and Hope fell through. This was very sad, but a very agreeable alternative awaited us in Chicagoland. We spent New Year's with the whole of Kyle's mom's side of the family and celebrated Christmas, New Year's, and Aunt Stacy and Uncle Toby's going away to Italy where they will be stationed for the next three years. It was a grand old time except that Watson was bad, Mama Bass was very sick, and Kent and Hope were absent.

Kyle and his phone

Cousin Scott napping with Sassy

Having Christmas with Nancy in the hallway outside her room because she didn't want to expose us to her germs

Aunt Denise and Uncle Mark

Cousin Max accidentally gave Aunt Laura a fat lip.

Toby, Moury, Mark T., and Mark B.

Aunt Denise's pretty house

Hope you had a fantastic holiday season and that the new year is treating you well so far!

Happy Momma

2010-12-22T23:35:00.000-06:00

This is my mom.

Isn't she so pretty? She doesn't even wear much makeup or dye her hair. She's just naturally lovely.

I am so thankful for her! She came down to see me last weekend and we went to the Christmas Festival in St. Charles, MO. Then we went to see Mannheim Steamroller at The Fabulous Fox Theatre. The festival was great, and The Fox was fabulous, but Mannheim was a little bit of a let-down. We had fun, as usual, though, and I loved seeing my momma laugh and smile.

One Year

2010-12-22T00:36:00.000-06:00

Inspired by a blog friend, I decided it would be beneficial (for myself) to break down our year.

January: We spent New Year's Eve at the Corson's house, and made brisket for friends on New Year's day. I continued to nanny for the Horst chil'ins. I began my last semester at SIU. We completed our applications to law school and grad school. The waiting game began.

February: We celebrated my birthday and Valentine's Day (or Birthentine's, if you're nasty) by going to St. Louis for the weekend. We stayed at the Cheshire Lodge, had a date at The Fountain on Locust with our newish friends, Josh and Kim, visited the art museum, and discovered Gioia's Deli. I spent the month wondering where in the heck God was going to send us or if we would stay in Carbondale for a few more years.

March: I spent the first half of the month anxiously awaiting news from graduate schools. I started feeling like we weren't going to be staying in Carbondale and treasuring our time there. Over Spring Break, I got my first acceptance, and it was to SLU! I was at my grandma and grandpa's house when I got the email on my phone. We all screamed and smiled and cried and jumped around the kitchen. It was a really special moment.

April: After three acceptances and two rejections for me, we were feeling like St. Louis was the place God was calling us, though all the details weren't exactly in place yet. Kyle still hadn't heard from SLU Law (and a few other schools), but planned on just getting a job in the STL area and re-applying because we were so sure we were supposed to be there. We had a marathon day of apartment searching, signed a lease, and the next week Kyle got his acceptance to SLU. Crazy lessons about stepping out in faith were learned.

(I took not a single picture in the month of April.)

May: A month of celebrations and new beginnings. Had a great celebratory night with classmates meowing around Carondale. Graduated and moved to St. Louis on the same day with the help of many friends and family. Started attending August Gate, where we knew we should go even though we'd never set foot in the doors. Started graduate school at the end of the month, and began a painful summer of living away from Kyle while he finished up his job in So Ill.

June: A haze of school and loneliness and driving back and forth between STL and So Ill. Oh, and threw a bridal shower for my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Hope.

July: A haze of school and loneliness and driving back and forth between STL and So Ill. Oh, and threw a bridal shower for my dear friend, Ellen. Then we both stood up with her and Bradley at the end of the month at their wedding. It was our last hurrah in Carbondale. Saying goodbye at the end of their reception left many of us in tears.

August: Kyle came home to Saint Louis for good! We celebrated the end of a long, hard, lonely summer. We got a puppy! Celebrated 4 years of marriage. When we first began praying about going on with school together, we just prayed we'd be in the same city. God went further. He put us in the same city, at the same school, and our buildings right next door to one another. Unbelievable goodness and grace. No accident there!

September: Traveled to Virginia to celebrate the wedding of our brother and sister, Kent and Hope. It was fun to travel with family, and even more fun to gain a sister in the Bass family. Went to school.

October: Really started making better friends at church and at school. Praise God. The summer was so lonely, even though friends at church reached out to me, I definitely was not myself then. October finally clicked and I started feeling more like me. School started getting harder on us, and it became very clear that our dog was really, really bad. We knew he was our "Marley." We hosted a Halloween party that seemed like a pretty big success, but we forgot to take pictures.

November: A haze of school and puppy-wrangling. In John Mayer-fashion, I wonder if I am going to make it through to December. I got to travel to Philadelphia for my first ASHA convention with classmates and faculty. Spent Thanksgiving with Kyle's family in Anna. Got to celebrate with Keith and Loni the night of their engagement.

December: Completed our semesters by the grace of Jesus. When the semester ended, we mostly spent our days at home wrangling our bad, bad dog, cooking, watching all the TV we missed during the semester, and enjoying each others' company. Christmas in Springfield with my family. As things slow down, the pain of infertility creeps back in as it always does when I'm not insanely busy. As always, I'm ready for a new year and thankful for a God who is faithful and isn't done with us yet.

Chocolate Pie

2010-12-14T00:01:00.006-06:00

I've always been a fan of French Silk pies from Perkins and Baker's Square, but I must say that this recipe for chocolate pie is as good as any I've had from a restaurant. You simply must try it. I promise it isn't that difficult.

Start with a pie crust of your choice. I used my Grandma Johnson's crust recipe because I am personally conflicted about using a frozen crust. You would be, too, if you had her crust. I won't judge you, though. Using a frozen crust would make things a whole lot easier, it's just that once you get that perfect homemade crust, it ruins you.

Now, this is where my trouble began... I 've never pre-baked a crust from scratch. I feel like I must be missing some secret step because this is what happened to my beautiful, perfect crust. It got bubbly and fell in on itself. Is there some secret to pre-baking a crust? In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter because it tasted wonderful, and when the pie is complete you cannot teven see the lumpy crust. As Julia says, make no apologies, no excuses! It doesn't have to be perfect.

After you've pre-baked your crust, get ready to do some mixin'! If you have a stand mixer, go kiss the feet of whomever purchased it for you. Unless you purchased it for yourself... I wouldn't want you to strain anything... You start with mixing the butter and sugar, and then add in the chocolate and vanilla. (Use Watkins vanilla if you know what's good for you. We call it Liquid Crack in the Bass abode.)

Now, this is when the mixing gets really crazy. You add in one egg every 5 minutes for 20 minutes (that's four eggs). Be patient. It's worth it to get that perfectly whipped texture. If you have a stand mixer, just throw an egg in and forget about it for 5 minutes. You can use that time to do your foot-kissing.

When it's whipped into submission, smooth it into the pie crust and chill it in the fridge for at least 2 hours.

I chilled it for about 5 hours.

I was feeling sassy, so I added some Cool Whip and made some chocolate curls for the topping.

Try not to lick the plate when you're done. If you must, at least wait until no one can see you. Not that I would know anything about that...

Hello? (tap tap) Is this thing on?

2010-12-13T02:08:00.000-06:00

Heeyyy-o! Do I really need to explain why I haven't posted in over a month? Yes? Remember that little thing I'm doing called "graduate school?" Well, it got the best of me, but now I've conquered another semester by the grace of God, and I'm on to a brighter future... at least for a month until it starts all over again.

Anyway, a lot happened in the last month. The most exciting to me is that my little brother (in-law) got ENGAGED over Thanksgiving! Yeah, I am pretty thrilled about this. Not only am I just generally excited about having another girl (we picked up Hope earlier this year) in the Bass family, but it just so happens that I am CRAZY for Keith's bride-to-be, Loni.

I had the privilege of being there the night they got engaged. Kyle and I parked our car at a distance and hid until Keith gave us the "all clear." It was a damp, soggy night, and our sweet Loni managed to cry off every ounce of makeup, but she still looked incredible! It was such a happy time, and now we have another family wedding to plan!

Also in the last month I have been to Philadelphia and back. I went to my very first professional conference, the annual ASHA convention, with dear classmates and a few faculty members. We had a blast there and I learned so much. Some of the topics were way over my head, but others were very useful, particularly for my thesis. We got to meet a lot of famous-to-us people, including Barbara Hodson (!!!), which I'm still freaking out about.

It was really fun to be surrounded by thousands of SLPs and audiologists. We got tons of free stuff and there were companies with booths set up who were hiring left and right. It's nice to know that I'm in demand and that I'm going to have a job when I finish!

Philly became one of my favorite cities. It was so big, and so much more city-like than St. Louis. This is not a knock to my small city, but it just had a totally different feel. I can't really explain it except to say that it was fun and I liked it. One of my favorite parts (a favorite for all of us who went, I think) was the Reading Terminal Market. I've never seen anything like it. It was an old train station converted into a market place with tons of vendors. You could find everything from baked goods, to fresh fish, to ice cream. We ate there nearly every meal since it was right across from the convention center.

More recently, the end of the semester brought much celebration, both at home with my man, and out on the town with my classmates. This past Friday night, my classmates had a fantastic night out together. These things tend to bring out my more extroverted self and I am caught on friends' cameras looking ridiculous, but having fun!

(Photo courtesy of the lovely, Martina)

(Photo courtesy of hot mama, Jamie)

I am so, so happy to be making better friends in my program. We spend every day together, but nights like Friday are what really bring out the bonding.

Our plans for the next month are to enjoy being school-free, visiting as many friends and family as possible, and getting some unfinished projects done around home. Kyle is already halfway through a thick novel, and I have editing pictures, baking, and piddling. It's going to be a great month!

Hopefully you'll hear from me again very soon.

Fruit Roll-Ups

2010-11-08T14:59:00.001-06:00

I used to love fruit roll-ups when I was a kid. What kid didn't? Relatively recently I said to Kyle, "Man, I wish I could get some fruit roll-ups. Those things were so good. Why don't they make an adult version?"

On my last trip to Target, I found these puppies. No sugar added. Just 50 calories of fruity deliciousness.

Wish granted!

View from our balcony

2010-11-05T13:33:00.001-05:00

We never go out on our front balcony. We're guessing there used to be a door to go out there, but now the only way out is through the window. Recently I crawled out there to get a closer shot of the glorious tree in our front yard. The view from up there was great.

This is our view of Saint Francis de Sales Catholic Church down the street. The building is spectacular, and is undergoing major renovation. It boasts the tallest steeple in the city, and is the second largest church building, second to the Cathedral Basilica on the central west end. It was built by German immigrants living in our neighborhood in the early 1900s. It is a jewel in our city to be sure.

Saint Louis is nicknamed the "Rome of the West" because of its deeply Catholic heritage. This carries over into today. I marvel at the architecture of my own neighborhood and think often about the immigrant families who lived here. Most of the houses around me are between 100-150 years old, and were built by friends and relatives who immigrated here together after the civil war in Germany. Let me tell you, they just don't build them like this anymore, but oh, how I wish they did!

From my balcony, I got a better view of some of the architectural details of our building. I am amazed by the craftsmanship, and I cannot fathom how they built such places without our modern technologies.

I often wonder about the families who lived here originally. Who were they? Where did they come from? Why did they come here? What did it look like back then?

I love old homes. I believe in restoration. I hope I always get to live somewhere that has such deep roots and such a rich history.

Random Conversational Excerpt

2010-11-03T22:22:00.002-05:00

Me: Oh my gosh! Google Streetview is just so cool. I'm looking at the hotel I stayed at in Paris!

Kyle: That's cool. Today I was looking at the Dixie Barbecue in Jonesboro.

Me: *hysterical laughter followed by typing*

Kyle: You're tweeting about this aren't you?

Me: Blogging.

He knows me. He makes me smile.

Be a friend.

2010-11-03T10:08:00.000-05:00

My Poppy shared this poem with me a long time ago. It really stuck with me and I think about it often. Such a good reminder when I start to turn into a "Me Monster."

I went outside to find a friend
But could not find one there;
I went outside to be a friend,
And friends were everywhere!

Eight Halloweens

2010-10-28T00:21:00.001-05:00

We here in the Bass household are big fans of Halloween. Over the years, we've had a lot of fun making our own costumes and going to parties with friends. Here's a quick rundown of our past costumes.

Year 1:

We were supposed to be hippies, but I don't think it worked out very well. On a brighter note, this was the first picture we ever took together. We had been dating for approximately 10 days. We have now been together for over 7 years, that's approximately 2,500+ days.

Year 2:

A little more creative this year, and far more time to plan. We were the Crocodile Hunter and a crocodile. This picture is awful, but it's the only one I have. It doesn't do the costumes justice. I also wish you could hear Kyle's Aussie accent and hear my croc roar. I slithered on the ground. He narrated. We were so cool.

Year 3:

(no picture available)

I swear I had a picture of this, but I cannot find one. That year we were The Lion (played by our friend), The Witch (me), and the Wardrobe (Kyle). We made costumes and made the wardrobe out of a cardboard box, painted and complete with opening doors.

Year 4:

We were newlyweds. Okay, that's not a costume. The truth is, we were new to Carbondale and no one that we knew of had a Halloween party, so we didn't dress up. I was sad, to say the least. I do seem to remember, however, that we went to Steak n' Shake that night with Team Abner and Team Billingsley. They are always a good time.

Year 5:

The Corpse Bride and her groom from Tim Burton's "The Corpse Bride." We thought it was cute, but no one knew who we were supposed to be, with the exception of Team Abner. Unfortunately, it took me approximately four days to wash all that blue hairspray out of my hair. Sometimes if I look down, I still think I see a little blue.

Year 6:

One of the most fun. Mario and Luigi. We threw fireballs and jumped around all night with fake Italian accents. What's more fun than a fake mustache and some homemade hats? I don't know.

Year 7:

The title of our costume that year was "My Better Half." We tore our clothes apart and sewed them back together. Kyle wore makeup and leggings. Need I say more?

In year 7, Halloween also coincided with Kyle's aunt's wedding, in which he was part of the wedding party. As the wedding party entered the reception they all wore masks and danced to Werewolves of London. That mask was sexy, what can I say?

Year 8:

TBA!

This year, as always, we are keeping it a secret. It's nothing too fancy (read= grad school prevents elaborate costume work) but it should still be fun!

What will YOU be for Halloween? I hope it's a happy one for you!

Life lessons from Head Start

2010-10-23T20:32:00.000-05:00

I've now been in my clinical placement at a Head Start on the north side of the city for seven weeks. On a daily basis I work with anywhere between 25-50 kids doing language-centered learning in the classroom, and another 4-5 children individually for speech and language therapy. I've learned so much in such a short time and I could reflect on about 100 professional ways I've grown. What I really want to reflect on, though, is a life lesson I've learned from these little people.

Children aged 3-5 are so much fun. They're cute. They say hilarious things. They rarely pronounce my name correctly (I get called everything from Ms. Sexy to Ms. Chunky, no kidding). They have good days and bad days. They all have strengths and challenges.

Most intriguing to me is this - they say what they mean and they mean what they say. If they don't like you or don't trust you, you know it. If they do, they show you. They smile at you. They hold your hand. They stick to your side like Velcro. They may even try to give you hugs and kisses (which is not allowed at Head Start, but I sometimes wish it were since some of them seem so starved for affection). Most importantly, they tell you. They tell you exactly how much they like you and if they think you're fun or boring. I love this about them.

As one who is inclined to always assume that most people do not like me, I find it so refreshing. It has inspired me to be more honest with the people I care about, to tell them just how I feel. I suppose that many think I'm a little strange for saying what I think and feel, but maybe, like me, they like it.

I've been trying to not only tell those I like that I like them, but what I like about them. This is a difficult thing to do because you risk being rejected. You risk being ridiculed and thought of as strange. I've learned from these kids, though, that I just don't care. I'm going to keep on telling people that I love them and why I love them and hope that it will make a difference in their lives. It certainly has in mine.

(Video via Abraham Piper)

Yeah, I'm that lady.

2010-10-16T06:00:00.004-05:00

I'm the kind of lady who likes to put her animals in ridiculous costumes and take their pictures. Why? Because it's FUNNY. Sorry if you think it's stupid. But seriously, how could you not like this?

Too bad Watson doesn't think it's quite as funny. He makes a brilliant Sherlock Holmes.

No class!

2010-10-15T11:15:00.000-05:00

In celebration of our normal Thursday afternoon class being cancelled, and Abby and Melanie's birthdays, several of my classmates went to Eckert's farm in Belleville yesterday, followed by dinner at The Fountain on Locust.

Teamwork in action!

Representing the ECLC.

The always lovely Hannah, who has the world's most soothing voice.

World's cutest apple:

Beautiful Briana, whose hair I covet.

Stacy with eyes that sparkle. (photo taken by birthday girl, Abby)

Autumn on Magnolia Avenue

2010-10-11T20:02:00.001-05:00

Autumn on our street is getting more beautiful every day. This afternoon (after all my most-pressing work was done) I spent a little quality time with my camera and our neighborhood.

Standing under this tree is almost magical. There is an orange, radiant warmth. It glows. I could stand there all day.

I loved the natural patterns of these falling leaves.

I am obsessed with the way the moss grows through the cracks on our old brick patio. It reminds me of my dad's patio, which has the same old, mossy look.

My wreath, which I would love to leave on our door all year, but every year I force myself to put it away. It makes autumn that much more special.

This little independent radio station is about a block from our house.

This plant is growing wild in our back alley. I have no idea what it is, but it's pretty!

Thanks for visiting!

10.10.10

2010-10-10T22:55:00.001-05:00

Ten random things in the 10 o'clock hour on October 10, 2010.

I'm suddenly obsessed with the melancholy song "La vie in rose" by Edith Piaf. I have no idea what she's saying, but it suits my mood well.
Watson got a bath today and his fur is oh-so-soft. I can't stop hugging on him.
I'm at a point where I want nothing more than to quit school, be a housewife, raise babies, take pictures, and do crafty things.
The weather is so warm. Most people are happy about this; I'd rather have the chill back in the air, or a nice, rainy day.
I am missing the peace of the country. While the city has its peaceful moments, the constant noise really grates on me.
I love being in walking distance from a gelato shop. The Gelateria del Leone is my absolute favorite place in the whole city, thus far.
I recently finished reading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It wrecked me in a wonderful way. I am not a fan of most "Christian fiction" I've tried reading, but this was a wonderful story.
Kyle has been holed up in the office and working very hard for several days on a paper that is due at midnight tonight. I'm probably more excited than he is to have it done just to have him back.
I bought two bags of Halloween candy to give to trick-or-treaters (this is the first year we've lived somewhere where we'll have some) and it was a bad idea. You can probably guess why.
I've been craving fruit smoothies and sour candy instead of my usual coffee and chocolate. I don't know what that's about.

The end.

One of those days.

2010-10-09T23:04:00.001-05:00

It's been one of those days where nothing in particular is wrong, but I just feel a little off. You know what I mean? Nah, probably not. I'm overly sensitive to any little change in feeling. I often wonder if other people feel as much as I do.

To feel better, I look at this.

And this.

And dwell on this.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
(Galatians 5:22-23 ESV)

Law School Observations

2010-10-07T16:19:00.000-05:00

A few times a week I sit just outside or in the lobby of the law school waiting for Kyle to get out of class. Here are a few observations I've made.*

My ideas about what law students would be like were nothing like the reality. I thought there would mostly be white frat boys. While there are some, they are not the expected majority. The law students are much more diverse in sociological and personality makeup than I expected, except when it comes to the way they dress.
Business casual means many different things to many different people.
98% of young dudes who wear suits don't know how to get a suit that fits.
99% of young dudes who try to dress professionally look boring (black suit, white shirt, stupid tie) and borderline sloppy (see #1).**
The girls who dress up all look the same. Black pants or skirt, black jacket, single necklace, hair in ponytail. Not a lot of color or accessorizing happening.
I'm pretty sure they all look at me and somehow know that I'm not a law student. On the days I choose to sit in the lobby, I get a lot of "What are you doing here?" looks. You wouldn't believe the staring, and it ain't cuz I'm so purty.
Almost all of them carry HUGE bags.
Most of them walk into the building alone with these really intense looks on their faces.
Most of them walk out in groups with smiles on their faces.

* Note that these observations only apply to the SLU Law students I have observed.
** I like to think that my husband, whose clothes shopping has become my personal responsibility, is neither boring nor sloppy in dress.

Thank you and amen.

Ill.

2010-09-29T19:46:00.000-05:00

I'm sick. Yeah, it's really attractive. I got to sit in a quiet room tonight while taking a mid-term, painfully hunched over a tiny desk for a long time with a burning fever. The only sounds to be heard were people nervously shifting in their seats and... me. Blowing my nose. Coughing into my elbow. Blowing my nose. Crinkling my Kleenex pocket pack open to get another tissue. Blowing my nose.

I'm sure my classmates really appreciated it. Not only is it attractive and super-hygenic, it's also a really soothing noise for test-taking. I bet they all just thought, "Gee, I wish I had what she has. That would really make this week better."

Don't worry, ladies. I probably spread my germs to you today. You can thank me later.

Baked Salmon

2010-09-28T12:26:00.009-05:00

Kyle is always begging me to make fish more often. I have an extremely limited range of the kinds of fish I will eat, but salmon is one I can usually tolerate. Last night, however, I found a salmon recipe that turned out as good as any salmon I've had anywhere. I give you... Baked Salmon.

2 cloves garlic, minced
6 tablespoons light olive oil
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped
2 (6 ounce) fillets salmon

In a medium glass bowl, prepare marinade by mixing garlic, light olive oil, basil, salt, pepper, lemon juice and parsley.
Place fillets in aluminum foil, cover with marinade, and seal. Marinate in the refrigerator about one hour.
Place sealed salmon in the glass dish, and bake at 375 degrees F for 45 minutes, until easily flaked with a fork.

I served with a simple salad and bowtie pasta seasoned with a little olive oil, garlic, salt, pepper, and parsley. I doubled the recipe so we would have leftovers. Leftovers are clutch for us right now. There are just so many nights I don't feel like cooking after I get out of class. I think Kyle was really happy with this little meal!

Happy birthday, Celeste.

2010-09-27T21:08:00.001-05:00

My friend, Celeste, celebrated a big birthday this weekend. I won't say which one. To celebrate, a bunch of our friends went to eat at Celeste's favorite The Fountain on Locust. The food there is delicious, and the ambiance is great.

The lighting is tricky for pictures, and many of mine came out a little blurry. Here's the best of what I got (and that's still not so great):

This is Celeste and her darling husband, Matt, and sweet Baby C. Sadly, all the pics of them were a bit blurry. I love this family.

This is Kim and her date, Juliette. Their husbands couldn't make it so they split a dinner and shared dessert. It was precious.

This is Noah. He's one of our pastors. I am SO thankful for him.

This is Noah's family - his mother-in-law, his Baby A, and his gorgeous wife, Heather. Aren't they pretty girls? Baby A is turning 1 in just a few days!

These are our friends Jacob and Amy. We have a small group Bible study at their house every week. We will forever be indebted to Jacob, who helped us move into our new apartment when he didn't even know us. They are expecting a baby girl in just a few weeks!

You probably know these mangy people.

We are so grateful for all the new friends God has put in our lives, and I can't wait to go deeper in our relationships with them. In Carbondale I learned that deep relationships take time and cultivation, but I am glad for the way things are going with our church friends.

Now I'm still praying I can make some better friends in my program. Many others have formed small circles of friends, or came in already knowing at least one other person. I often feel alone, like and outsider. Maybe everyone feels that way in a new city at a new school...

Homecoming

2010-09-26T12:36:00.004-05:00

This was homecoming weekend for SLU. To celebrate, the law school had family day and Kyle's parents came up to celebrate.

We got up early and went to the Soulard Farmer's Market before the festivities began. The pumpkins and gourds were arriving and there were some of the biggest, cheapest mums I've ever seen. Six dollars for a HUGE pot!

We went to the law school events, which included a stellar lunch, hearing from three impressive professors, and participating in a mock class. I learned a lot about what Kyle does every day in just a couple hours and it was really fun.

We had a great dinner out at Cunetto House of Pasta. It was SO packed. We were glad we went early. After dinner we went for gelato at our favorite, Gelateria del Leone. This morning we had breakfast at Soulard Coffee Garden before saying goodbye to Mama and Papa Bass.

Our new tradition with our house guests is that they must take a picture with Sir Henry and sign our guest book. Mama and Papa Bass got to be the first!

What a fun weekend we had. How did it go by so quickly?

Seven Things

2010-09-22T22:52:00.001-05:00

Here's a few random things on my mind.

It's supposed to be 92 in St. Louis tomorrow. I really, really hope this is the last day of summer weather.
I hate making mistakes. I particularly hate making very public mistakes. Very big public mistakes that make me seem flaky and incompetent. I'm trying to use it as a moment to be humble and hope that I receive mercy.
I feel a little bit achy every day. Not because I'm working out so hard (insert chuckles here), but because I ache for something, for someone. Hopefully soon I'll have the guts to write an update on being fertilely-challenged.
Watson is STILL not house-trained. We are exhausted and unsure what we need to do differently. He was making progress, or so it seemed. He has fewer accidents in the house than when we first brought him home, but that's because we know his schedule and the warning signs, not because he's letting us know that he needs to go out. It's very trying. So is the chewing (read=destruction of all things) behavior, but that's a whole other story.
School is definitely getting in the way of my TV-watching this week. All of my favorite shows are starting back up this week and between my evening classes and our lack of cable, it has been a challenge to say the least. Ah, such is the life of two professional students, I suppose.
God has been teaching me about pride this week. About how much pride fills my heart and motivates so many of my decisions. It's a big, big challenge for me. I hope that he will give me humility and continue to teach me through his word and through our church. I read this today, adding the emphasis to what I thought I really needed to hear: "Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. " (James 3:13-14 ESV)
I'm increasingly uncomfortable with having my picture taken. The more I'm behind the camera, the more I want to stay behind the camera. That being said, Kyle and I really need some good pictures with each other. This is the only recent pic we've taken, and it's not very good.

That's all, folks.

A Life Full of Whimsy

2010-09-18T17:17:00.001-05:00

Kyle and I have always tried to fill our home with things that are beautiful and fun. Some things are new and stylish. Some things are old and worn. Some things are downright comical. Our idea is that your home should not only make you smile, but have a good chuckle once in a while.

Today we made a trip down to Dutch Town to an area known as the Antique District. Amidst the many over-priced and beautiful things, in the back corner of a cool little shop, we found something that made us laugh very hard and say, "Awesome! We have to get that."

Meet Sir Henry.

Maybe you're not into whimsy. Maybe you think grad school has made us lose our minds. Maybe you, like us, think that Henry is awesome.

No matter what people think, we're more than happy to have a knight in the family!

Used to...

2010-09-17T00:42:00.000-05:00

I used to love being a hostess. I loved entertaining people and cooking for people and trying to pretend I was a younger, hipper, poorer Martha Stewart. It hit me today that I don't currently feel capable of doing this thing that I once loved so much.

I long to entertain and show hospitality. I long for a clean house. I long for the time to cook a meal. I'm desperate for a chance to do some crafty things. Currently, every room in my house is a complete disaster and neither Kyle nor I has the time or motivation to do anything about it. Grad school hit hard this week in tandem with the start of my clinical assignment.

I think it's only going to get crazier from here. I hope maybe we'll get into some sort of routine and all the daily things like taking care of the house, feeding ourselves, and taking care of the animals will find balance with all our school responsibilities. I fear we won't be able to do that for two more years.

My new friend, Whitney, has a great blog. She's always updating on all the awesome things she finds and re-creates. It makes me long for days gone by. It reminds me of all the projects I have on the backburner. All the pictures and paintings in my mind. All the empty canvases. All the half-completed sewing and knitting projects. All the pieces of furniture that need a fresh coat of paint. All the paint sitting in the closet waiting to be applied to said furniture. All the bookmarked DIY projects. All the empty picture frames just waiting to be filled, and all the pictures just waiting to be printed. All the city thrift stores waiting to be perused.

I really hope I get some time to catch up. A day here and there to work on unfinished projects. A consistently clean house. A dog that doesn't require constant supervision. A husband that isn't always holed up in the office studying for his own demanding program.

I'm not feeling optimistic that all or any of these things will happen. Sigh.

I suppose that this is just where we are in life and we really should be grateful for the opportunity and the trials. Easier said than done.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Super Nerds

2010-09-13T14:25:00.000-05:00

Kyle and I have long fooled ourselves into thinking that we're really not that nerdy. Sure, we like Star Trek. Sure, we like Lord of the Rings. Sure, we think Firefly was one of the most underrated shows ever. But, we're not that nerdy, right?

A couple weeks ago we went to a book signing that solidified our super nerd status forever, though. We've been to book signing s before, but not like this one. This time we went to a signing for a fantasy fiction writer, Brandon Sanderson.

I am currently reading his Mistborn series, and Kyle has read just about all of his books, with the exception of his young adult series. I'm usually more into the Jane Austen-like works of fiction, but I find myself really enjoying this series. (Kyle attributes this change to Twilight. He says that series opened me up to more fantastical writing.)

Sanderson has become more well-known recently in large part because he was tasked with completing the writing for the late Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. Jordan tragically passed away before the finale of his twenty-odd-years-in-the-making series was complete.

The signing was really fun and surprisingly packed. I couldn't believe how many other super nerds were in the St. Louis area for this. The line of people wrapped all the way around this massive Barnes and Noble.

We told ourselves we were the coolest people there to make ourselves feel better. Either way, it was cool for Kyle to get to meet one of his favorite living authors. I'm sure my mom will have a good laugh at our expense when she finds out we went to a fantasy writer's book signing.

Come on, Mom. It couldn't be any worse than the time we went to the midnight Return of the King premiere in costume, right? After all, there were no wigs, elf ears, or chain-mail body suits involved this time!

Keepin' it real,
C-Bizzle

Baked Potato Soup

2010-09-09T22:43:00.000-05:00

Last year I started experimenting with different recipes for baked potato soup. I was inspired by my Aunt Jennifer, who makes an awesome BPS. I played around and finally nailed down a great blend of flavor and consistency.

Since I don't believe in secret recipes, here's what I did-

3 bacon strips, diced
1 small onion, chopped
3 *cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon pepper
3 cups chicken broth
3 large potatoes, baked, peeled, and cubed
1 cup half-and-half

*I used to think one clove of garlic was equal to one bulb of garlic. For new cooks: A bulb of garlic has many little cloves that break apart naturally as you peel them. Basically, until very recently I would use about 10 times more garlic than needed.

Begin by baking potatoes. While in the oven, cook bacon (I usually just use the microwave kind), chop onion, and mince garlic. Saute the onion and garlic in bacon grease or butter/margarine until soft. Add in chopped bacon, flour, salt, basil and pepper; mix well. Gradually add chicken broth.

Bring to boil. Boil and stir for two minutes and then reduce heat. Add half-and-half.

Once the potatoes are done, peel and dice them and add to the mixture. Heat thouroughly, but do not boil.

Serve with a spoonful of shredded cheddar cheese and a piece of warm bread.

I know it seems like there are a lot of steps, but it's really very simple. Pair it with a cool autumn evening and enjoy!

Kent and Hope Bass!

2010-09-08T23:23:00.001-05:00

How do I even begin to fill you in on the exciting weekend we had in Virginia?! Kent, Kyle's middle brother, who I very much consider my brother, got married to Hope over the Labor Day weekend. We left early on Friday morning to make the 15-ish hour drive to VA. It was long, beautiful, and fun. We love road trips and there was a lot of pretty mountain scenery.

Saturday morning, Hope's grandmother hosted a lovely bridal luncheon at a local country club. All the ladies of the families as well as the bridesmaids were there.

That afternoon I stowed away with Loni (Kyle's youngest brother's girlfriend) to Haymarket, VA where Cousin Steph recently moved. It was so cool that we were so close and that I was able to go see her!

The wedding rehearsal was Saturday night and the rehearsal dinner was lovely and intimate at Historic Jordan Springs. Love was in the air and the excitement was palpable.

Sunday went by so quickly that it's hard to even reflect on it now. The wedding and reception were lovely and everyone had a great time.

Two really wonderful things occurred to me over the weekend. The first is that I am so happy Kyle, Kent, and Keith get along so well. It is so rare to have in-laws who actually like each other. It is even more rare to have in-laws who you like. I am blessed with a great second family and I couldn't love Kent and Keith more if they were blood relatives.

The second wonderful thing that occurred to me is that I love their ladies! So, not only do I have two great brothers, but now I have one great sister, and another I hope will be my sister in the near future. Also, I don't think I need to restate how thankful I am for Kyle's parents, but I will. I love them and think they are wonderful! We always have so much fun together. When I think ahead to family holidays and gatherings, I am so happy that I get to spend time with them. From what I hear others say about their in-laws, I would say I am one lucky duck!

I am already missing them a lot and I wish they lived closer.

Some of you came here to see pictures from the weekend, not to hear me drone on about how much I love Kyle's family. I don't want to disappoint, so here's what I've got!

I hope you all had an equally wonderful holiday weekend. Congratulations Kent and Hope Bass!

This is ladies night.

2010-08-31T22:25:00.001-05:00

Friday was ladies night. What a night it was! Lots of fun, laughter, food, and getting to know some of the ladies of August Gate a little bit better. Nights like Friday tend to bring out my extroverted-ness and I have to remind myself to shut up and listen.

A couple of my new friends really stand out as good listeners - Kim, who I love so much but I did not snap a single picture of all night, and Celeste, who makes me feel warm. Does that sound creepy? Sorry, Celeste. You just do. Can I have a hug?

Then there's Juliette, who I could talk to for hours. We have very similar tastes in just about everything, I think! She and I connected quickly and now we've bonded over our love for Twilight. Judge away. We don't care. Juliette is a beautiful soul with a great laugh.

This is Emily and Amy.

Emily is my favorite story-teller. She always has something great to share and it seems like she's lived a lot of life. She makes everyone laugh and feel happy. I just like being around her. When you're with her you feel the love of Jesus pouring through her.

Amy is so smart and cute. Just look at that baby belly! I love her style, her sweetness, her energy, and her dogs. Watson loves her dogs, too. There's a lot I want to learn from her. She and her husband, Jacob, made us feel really welcome.

Jenille is so funny and queen of the random one-liners. She also has great stories and makes the most random jokes I've ever heard. I think what makes her so funny is that she delivers them with a straight face like Tina Fey. Just get her some thick-rimmed glasses and call Lorne Michaels.

We ate a lot of really great food and had a great time. It was really nice to just throw on some sweat pants and have some laughs.

Of course, there were a lot of other girls there who I love, but did not get great pictures of due to my lack of camera skills in low-lighting. So, here's my shout-out to Kim, Heather, Kat, Jamie, and Brei! Thanks for a great night!

School days. School daze.

2010-08-26T06:11:00.016-05:00

For once, the start of the semester does not make me feel so bad. I'm not in a daze. I'm actually quite excited for the upcoming semester, though I'm told it's the "make-you-or-break-you" semester of my program. I've got a little confidence, not in myself, but in Jesus who is big enough to get me through this.

Can I tell you how nice it is to walk across campus with Kyle? It's really great. Such an improvement from the loneliness of summer.

I still cannot believe that we're here together. It seemed like such an impossible thing that we would even get into schools in the same city, let alone the same school! To boot, our buildings are right next to each other. Have I told you that before? I can't remember. Yeah. It's awesome.

The SLU campus is beautiful. I'd grown used to the drab architecture and dull landscape of SIUC.

Sure, the hills and trees are nice down there, but there's a serious lack of style and color. SLU is quite the opposite. I mainly attribute the differences to the fact that Southern is a poor state school, and SLU is an affluent private school. They can't help it, really.

The landscaping here is immaculate. There are grounds employees everywhere. They keep the weeds pulled, the sidewalks clean, the hedges trimmed.

There are flowers everywhere.

There are statues, fountains, streams, coy ponds, and clock towers. It's a place you want to be.

This lovely change in scenery has done a great deal to lift my spirits lately. More than I could have imagined.

Now there are some drawbacks to being a private school girl. The tuition, for one, would make you cough your morning coffee through your nose. I won't go into the others here.

One more really great thing about SLU is that students just seems happy here. Kyle is nothing but impressed with the law school and the instructors (despite the fact that the backpack he now has to carry is bigger than him).

In general, you don't here people complaining about the university as a whole. You rarely hear someone badmouth instructors. You don't hear students making fun of the school or the programs.

I am totally impressed with the instructors in my department. They're all doing interesting research. They're constantly traveling around the country, around the world, making presentations on important topics. Just in the few months I've been here, I've had teachers travel to Washington D.C., San Diego, Holland, Greece, and Australia.

In short, we love being Billikens!

Takeover

2010-08-25T15:16:00.002-05:00

There's this dog. He's sort of taken over our lives. Don't let that sad face fool you. He can be a little monster.

Oh, but he's a little monster we can't stop kissing and squeezing and snuggling.

He can't stop chewing and pooping and peeing. All over. All the time.

Nah, not all the time. He's actually really good...

...when he's sleeping.

Yin and Yang

2010-08-20T11:20:00.000-05:00

He's the Yang to my Yin.

He's wine and I'm beer.

He's tea and I'm coffee.

He's "realistic" and I'm "optimistic."

He's salad and I'm fried chicken.

He's the details and I'm the big picture.

He's poetic and I'm artistic.

He's dark chocolate and I'm milk chocolate.

He's slow to speak and I'm hard of hearing.

He's rubber and I'm glue.

He's a trolley and I'm a rollercoaster.

You get it. We're different. Somehow it works, and I love him.

Nothing like randomly bawling at 1:07pm.

2010-08-18T13:10:00.000-05:00

Please don't watch this unless you're prepared to sob. Seriously.

Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

via Abraham Piper

Hellloooo, goigeous.

2010-08-16T21:11:00.000-05:00

My new favorite shoes:

I think they'll be perfect for Kent (Kyle's middle brother) and Hope's upcoming nuptials.

Soulard Farmers Market

2010-08-14T16:44:00.000-05:00

We went down to the Soulard Farmers Market on Saturday morning. What a great day it was to be there. We'd already been to the Tower Grove Farmers Market in our neighborhood, so we thought we'd make the 1.5 mile jog over to Soulard and see theirs.

It was glorious. It was packed. It was HUGE. This is just one wing.

You could find just about anything there, everything from handmade jewelry to alligator meat. The real star of the show, however, is the abundance of beautiful, inexpensive produce.

The walls and mounds of fruit and vegetables seemed to go on for miles. It is a sight that will make you proud to be in the Midwest, where we have access to such a bountiful harvest. At the same time, it will make you feel guilty to think about other parts of the world where people don't even have a concept of a place like this. It made me wonder just what happens to all the produce that isn't sold.

It is inspiring in so many ways. Just look at those colors...

Those textures...

It was beautiful. Does anyone else get this excited about produce?

We brought home some peaches, cherries, and a couple Mexican mangoes. Kyle sampled goat cheese, which was supposedly delicious, but kind of pricey.

We also shared a sample 6-pack of hot, fresh mini-donuts from Smitty's. We were told we simply must get them.

They were good, but we both later concluded that we'd rather spend the calories on some really good bread.

There were lots of interesting characters, and no shortage of musicians about the market. My favorites were Raven Wolf, a jazz musician, and this group of guys playing a sweet, soft, bluegrass lullaby.

All in all, the market was incredible. If you come visit us, we'll take you there!

Watson and Quacker

2010-08-13T13:12:00.001-05:00

Watson has quite a few toys already. He likes to chase a tennis ball, romp and play with his bouncy Kong, and chew for hours on a raw hide bone. But there is one toy that trumps every other toy.

Meet Quacker.

Watson has become... attached... nay, fixated on Quacker. See, Quacker is a duck. He quacks.

Watson is a spaniel. Spaniels are bred to be gun dogs. They have long noses and long, floppy ears that help sweep the scent up from the ground as they track fallen fowl. They can flush out game and retrieve birds (especially quail and woodcock, hence Cocker Spaniels) with a gentle mouth. Watson... well, he's working on the gentle. Retrieving Quacker, though... he's a natural at that.

Celebrated.

2010-08-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

We had a GREAT fourth anniversary. Kyle was done with his school stuff at noon, so we had the chance to have lunch at one of our favorite places, Square One Brewery (don't be fooled by the low-quality website). They have killer pub burgers, and different specialty burger every week. *I highly recommend the bison burger if available.*

Since we ended up eating a long, late lunch, we decided later to just skip dinner and go straight for dessert. We went to my favorite place for dessert, Baileys' Chocolate Bar.

I ordered the Bailey's brownie and an Irish coffee, while Kyle indulged in the crepes with strawberries and warm Nutella drizzled over them. It was all fabulous!

After we did a little walk around Lafayette Square.

The fountain at the center created some nice ambiance for a romantic stroll.

I attempted to take our picture using the self timer, but getting the camera to focus properly while steadying it on a park bench was a rather difficult challenge. Sorry for the blur.

It was a great night out, followed by a great night at home playing with Watson and his new favorite toy. More on that next time.

This guy.

2010-08-12T09:15:00.002-05:00

This guy, this man, has been my husband for four years today.

One thing is sure: by the grace of our Lord, Jesus, I love him more today than I did on August 12, 2006. We've weathered a few storms together and we have grown in our confidence of God's faithfulness to us. Again and again, we have been humbled and brought to our knees by our inability to do any good thing apart from Jesus. We've seen miracles happen. We've seen grief. Still, we say, "God, you alone are good. You alone are all we need."

I am so grateful for the many blessings I have been given in Kyle. As we prayed together a few nights ago, he prayed, "Thank you for Chelsea and the blessing she is to me every day that I've known her." While I often feel more like a curse than a blessing, I am grateful for a man who would see me that way. I am grateful for a husband who works hard, who isn't afraid to try new things, who is always slow to anger and quick to forgive, and who loves me with an unfailing love.

I love you, Bryant Kyle Bass. I hope we are blessed with many more years together. Happy 4th anniversary!

Small group gets large

2010-08-11T07:00:00.001-05:00

All summer I've been attending a small group Bible study with some people from our new church, August Gate. The thing is, the small group has turned into a pretty large group.

Last night we had a potluck to celebrate what God has done in our summer study, Vintage Jesus. It was also a night to talk about what comes next for our group.

We're splitting. We're done-zo. Over.

Okay, not really. We're just forming a new group in a new neighborhood, the fourth group for AG. Our good friends Josh and Kim will be leading. Kyle and I are going to be part of the new group. It is exciting to see how God is growing this church which has not yet existed for one year.

I will definitely miss seeing everyone, but I am excited to see what will happen with our new group. God has already blessed us so much through studying his word with these people!

Tourist Weekend

2010-08-10T10:59:00.000-05:00

We entertained my Uncle Andy, Aunt Callie, and little cousins Noah and Hannah this weekend. We really had a blast with them! Saturday we acted like tourists exploring The Gateway Arch and Laclede's Landing.

We got the Lockhart family cheesin' and made them take lots of pictures.

Unfortunately, the kids grew tired of the pictures so they started to turn out like this.

Of course, I had to snap a few of my beloved.

At The Arch, we explored the Westward Expansion museum underneath. I want to go back again with Kyle so we can read all the placards. I've always been interested in the history of the western states. You may well remember that my favorite childhood books were those of Laura Ingalls Wilder, my favorite game, Oregon Trail. I used to dress up in a prairie skirt, run around barefoot on the family farm, and pretend I was a pioneer girl. I'm still that girl inside.

Anywho, the kids enjoyed the museum, I think.

Also under The Arch is a little baseball museum. There were a lot of great facts on the history of the game, and on the history of its popularity in St. Louis. This is, more than any other sport, a baseball city. They had some pretty cool artifacts, like this old manual for the "recently invented game of base ball."

And this advertisement:

Someone should send it to the Cubs.

That's right. I'm officially a St. Louisan now. I diss the Flubs.

Meet Watson!

2010-08-02T22:23:00.005-05:00

Name: Watson Bass
Age: 4 months
Weight: 16lbs
Breed: Half Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, half Cocker Spaniel
Best Qualities: His calm, sweet demeanor and his silky, smooth fur.
Likes: Constant affection, being with his humans, eating plants, chewing on rugs and towels

Dislikes: Walking on the leash, pooping outside
How he came to be in our family: We adopted him today from a local rescue. He was saved from a puppy mill.

So far, things are about as good as could be expected bringing Watson home. He seems to really like Ellie and he clearly wants to romp and play with her. Ellie, on the other hand, is very nervous around him. She spends her time hiding or keeping constant watch.

It's darn near impossible to get a good picture of him because he's always moving, turning, or coming towards you. If you back away to focus, he just follows you and wants lovin'.

Potty training could be a challenge as he has no idea what to do on a leash. He just freezes and goes limp. We were told you're not supposed to walk dogs until they are 8-9 months old. I've never heard that before, have you? It sounds crazy! How do we get out all that puppy energy?

Anyway, we'll see how it goes! He's ours for good and I accepted him with tears this afternoon.

You are loved already, Watson Bass!

It's Summer!

2010-08-02T00:50:00.000-05:00

Finally, after spending most of my summer in class and away from my beloved, I have a short respite before classes begin again. It has been a hard, wonderful, trying, beautiful summer. So many good things have come into our lives and we've had to let go of some good things, too.

This weekend we were celebrating the end of my summer classes, the end of Kyle's job with the Southern Illinois Miners, and most importantly, the marriage of Bradley and Ellen Peradotto! It was a jam-packed weekend of giving thanks, catching up with friends, and saying goodbye. It seems as though all our old friends are undergoing major life-changes at the same time. I am so thankful for the people God placed in our lives while we were there and we already miss them SO much.

Brad and Ellen's wedding was gorgeous. I think there were very few dry eyes in the house as they recited their own vows and we all sang praises to Jesus. I wish that I'd take more pictures, but when you're a bridesmaid, it's hard to find time. I snapped a few as Ellen was getting ready, and a couple more with my phone later that night. There were cameras everywhere, so I can't wait to see what everyone else captured.

Kyle and I returned to St. Louis tonight and we have one week before Kyle begins his orientation for law school. I know this week will fly by, so we are really going to try and enjoy it. I have three weeks off until I start back, so I'm hoping to get a lot done around the house. I have a number of small projects that I just haven't had the time to do all summer. I'll be sure to update more now that I have time!